Taking inventory!

A good friend of mine recently e-mailed me an interesting question:

"There is very little about my everyday life right now that resembles the standard definition of "peace": quiet and calm and collected. At least on the outside. I am up by 5am, rushing to get to the bus, traffic into the city, 8 blocks to the office, at my desk by 7:30am, workworkworkworkwork, 8 blocks to the bus station, traffic, home by 7pm, cook dinner, eat, study for the CFA exam, bed. And I am competitive. I tend to believe in creative destruction; if you are too comfortable, you aren't trying hard enough. That doesn't sound very peaceful. At the end of the day, I'm tired. But I'm happy, and I think internally, things are peaceful in my life. Well, even internally there is stress sometimes, but I tend to think of it as a positive force, rather than a negative one. It tends to motivate. And I don't let it carry over into other aspects of my life. Libby (his wife) and I are happy with each other, and we work to make each other happy. In short, I think it's possible for outside stress and internal peace to coexist. What are your thoughts?"

While the details of my friend's day may be much different than your day... I am confident that many of you feel the same way. Busy. Busy. Busy. So, can peace coexist with a stressful schedule and busy lifestyle?

My first instinct is to answer this question like I would answer one of my client's. In my soft, emphatic therapist tone I would look at him in his eyes and say, "What do you think?". I know, annoying isn't it? While that is cliche for therapists to say, the truth is, a large part of it is what you think, or what your breed is.

Don't forget we all need different things. Some of us need more down time than others. For instance, I need to interact with other people. No different than I need food and water, I truly feel I have to be communicative with others in order to emotionally survive. Other times I need to shut down from the world in order to face it again. So, assuming that you are busy (because who isn't these days?), ask yourself first if you feel at peace in your life. Your gut always knows. ALWAYS knows.

There may be a tiny voice that says, "You know you really should call ________." Or, "I really should sleep some more." Or maybe you are too busy that you aren't even hearing 'the voice' anymore. Slow down long enough to do an inventory.

One problem I have with some therapist and others in the helping profession, is the possibility of making a problem out of something that really isn't a problem. If it ain't broke.. don't fix it. Right? So, when reflecting on your life, if you find peace and contentment (even excitement and joy) as the sum of your daily events, then pat yourself on the back and remember to check back in a couple of weeks.

The key here is the intention. The verbs in these sentences are what keeps us healthy. The act of reflecting, the moment spent looking inward, or the small, purposeful action that is added to the day in order to encourage peace. Read below at my friend's second e-mail statement.

"I've been redefining what the word "peace" means over the years. Four or five years ago I would have said that it means sitting on a rock at Wa-Floy, during our mandated daily alone time during that retreat. Or sitting on the deck of a beach house in Edisto with my dad, "pondering the ocean", as he puts it, and drinking a cup of coffee in the morning. But I think I've expanded it over the years to include more real world applications, like closing my eyes on the bus ride in the morning and relaxing and preparing my mind for the day. Or if the day has been really stressful, leaving at 4 and grabbing a coffee and sitting in Bryant Park and reading for an hour before I go home. It's the little things. Believe it or not, you can find peace in New York if you look for it. But it usually needs to be an act of will. It won't find you."

He summed up his own question perfectly. Remember that finding peace, in New York or on a mountain top, is, as he puts it, an act of will. Will yourself this week to reflect, do some inventory, take a few minutes to take a deep breath. Visualize yourself separating from the worldly 'noise' and listen within.

No Peace For Me!

Don't want to feel content? Make sure you follow these steps found in Elisabeth Elliot's book, "Keep a Quiet Heart".

How to Forfeit Peace

1.

Resent God's ways.

2.

Worry as much as possible.

3.

Pray only about things you can't manage by yourself.

4.

Refuse to accept what God gives.

5.

Look for peace elsewhere than in Him.

6.

Try to rule your own life.

7.

Doubt God's word.

8.

Carry all your cares.

Make sure you follow these instructions carefully. Remember, you only need to do one of these to ensure you will not have peace.

The winds and waves, but not you?

HURRY UP!! Go run and find some peace!


Quick! Yell, scream, fight and demand peace!


Doesn't make much sense, does it? Then why are we doing it?


We talk about wanting a peaceful life, or even to "feel at peace" with a loss, a decision we or someone else has made; we crave that sense of fulfillment; undenying knowledge that everything is as it should be and for the greater good, but, we don't slow down long enough to allow it to come to us.

Peace is not a thing you can search for and certainly not something to be demanded from God, yourself or anyone else. The only action you can take is to be still and allow peace to enter your soul. Peace will not enter until we make room for it in our lives. By making room, we must slow down. This doesn't mean you have to take a day off work, find a babysitter and lay in bed all day. It only means that you need to take a few minutes out of your day to slow down your body, your mind, your life and allow God to work inside of you by bringing peace in your life.

I am sure you are all familiar with the passages in Matthew, Mark and Luke that describe when Jesus calms the storm. Jesus and the disciples were traveling, when a huge storm came upon them, frightening the disciples. When they finally woke Jesus and asked for his help, Jesus said simply, "Peace. Be Still." And the winds and waves calmed, leaving the disciples in wonder at His powers.

Lets think about how powerful and all knowing your higher power is. Even with all the examples you can give, our tiny brains still can not wrap around the magnificence of the supernatural world. Have you ever given much thought to how much had to be exactly right for you to form in your mothers wound... as you. We trust God in those 9 months to do and be all we need to develop. We have the power to go back into that state of trust and then we can receive all the peace one can imagine.

That's it. No magic wand, or special potion. Just a few little steps. Follow these steps and peace will and can enter your life, in God's time, of course.

1. Recognize and acknowledge the storms in your life. If you aren't aware of what's going on, you won't know how to ask for help.

2. Stop. Be Still.

3. Ask. Don't demand. Ask for your higher power to help bring peace in your life.

4. Be still again and trust, have faith, that all will be taken care of in time. ALLOW it to happen and trust in the greater good.

Can you control the wind? I can't. Can you stop waves from crashing? Not me, either. Don't be fooled into thinking you can control much else without God's help.

Peace, Be Still.

Peace

This week I would like to reflect on peace. Peace is the state of mind, state of soul, state of the world, that we all want. We have different ideas of how to accomplish our goal. Nonetheless, I believe it is our ultimate urge - to be at peace. So, what does peace mean for our spirit? One morning I jotted down some of my thoughts on peace:

Peace...

Absolute contentment with what is.

No wishes, desires or thoughts of circumstances changing.

A flexible mindset,

embracing whatever comes.

Not just acceptance alone,

but, acceptance with deep love,

without trying to understand.

How could our minds wrap around

the supernatural order of the world?

We think with our souls.

The fear of being blind belongs

only to those who can not see.

Those who have felt peace, truth and love,

do not fear the unknown;

therefore, they can clearly see.

Peace is quite and still.

Like the sunrise over a mountain.

Peace is developing an eternal joy,

deep within your core.

Not fleeting happiness, but joy

and gratefulness for all you have been given.

Peace is life.

It allows for new life to begin.

Peace ignites in your soul

and then, like moths to a street lamp,

those seeking the fulfillment of

love, peace, joy and truth, will crowd to you.

But, you need not say anything.

Words complicate peace.

Words of the mind can condemn, offer judgements,

even without intention.

Instead you just exist and continue

in your own flame of peace.

Should a word be spoken,

it will come from deep in the soul,

whispered to the part of you who knows the

difference between ego and giving.

Live in the light.

Live with peace in your heart.

As you begin this week, spend a few minutes reflecting on this. Are you in a peaceful place in your life right now? What can you do to bring more peace in your day today? What can you do to offer peace to another?