Imagine

Do you have a New Years resolution yet? Mine is more like a "To Do" list...
Start flossing more, make an appointment to get my eyes checked, show up to work five minutes early, read more, excercise more, eat more healthy, save more money, do more charity, ....................
The list keeps going once I get started.
This year I think I will avoid making the traditional resolution that will eventually fail to be productive after a couple of months. Instead, I will vow to use my imagination. I will try to be creative in how I live life. Flexibe with what comes, not rigid with the boundaries I create for my world. I will try new things (maybe even some new vegetables) and will not let fear control me.

Imagine a world that you create without rules or fear. What would you do? How would things be different?
If something seems impossible it is probably not. You've just decided to be that. Wipe your mind clean of the old way of thinking and invite believing in the possible to be the way of thinking for this New Year.
Check out the You Tube clip for more inspiration and Happy New Year!

Holy Night

Why do we celebrate events year after year? Birthdays, anniversary's... Christmas. Every year we do the same thing - we pull out the decorations, we put them back up. We wrap up the gifts.., we unwrap the gifts. Buy and receive. It's the same routine. I wonder why we don't just stop the Christmas celebration all together?

"Oh Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth."

Christmas night and the Christmas season is more than just your "run of the mill" celebration. As the song implies, it is holy and sacred. We celebrate to remind us of what is really important about the season. The reminder is there in spirit... not in the wrapping paper or in the fruit cake. The reminder is there in the extra way we express love for one another.

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining."

Has the world changed much since that night? Of course it has - But, really - has it? Have you ever thought of what 'pining' means in the song? I just looked it up - in this version pining means: "to waste away with pain, hunger, grief, or desire". It doesn't say to feel pain, hunger, grief or desire... but to actually waste away in these emotions. The world, before Christ was born, was wasting away in negativity. Even now, some of us, are fading away in greed, depression, loneliness, feelings of low worth and fear of failure.

"Till He appeared and the Soul felt His worth!"

Then HE appeared.... and WE felt our TRUE worth. Whatever you are feeling... if it isn't that YOU are sacred, holy or chosen.... if it is anything else or less than - it's a lie. You are beautiful, perfectly made in Christ's image -- and your worth is immeasurable. You have been ANOINTED in Christ's love and grace. Do you wish you could give Jesus something for His birthday? Begin here -- begin believing in your worth and Christ will celebrate fully in His day.

"A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn."

How many of us are tired and weary? Even the weary can rejoice in the magnificence of being saved by HOPE!! There is a new dawn breaking --- a time for a fresh start! Perhaps this is the reason why we must celebrate -- to remember we can always begin again. We can always return in spirit to this night and celebrate in the fact that we are saved.... saved from waste, hunger, grief and desire. Saved in spirit, whenever we return to this moment.

"Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angels voices!

Do it -- get on your knees. Don't just close your eyes quickly - but, really humble yourself to the Lord. Feel the vulnerabilities of the motion --- and then experience the awesomeness of the act. We can do nothing more but fall in mercy to the one that pulled us out of the stormy sea of death. Hear the angels voices!!! This line is not commanding the angels to say something - rather, it is implying they are speaking all the time --- we must be commanded to hear them! Close your mouth and open the ears of your spirit --- hear the angels telling you of your worth and your calling!

"Oh night Divine. Oh night, when Christ was born."

This is a divine day. Not for anything else. If you make it anything else -- then you chose it to be that. But, Christ chose it to be divine for you and me... give Him that for His birthday. And remember that it is a holy night indeed.

Merry Christmas.

How Heavy is Your Christmas Glass?

Earlier today I received a "forward" in my inbox. I did my usual skim through to see if it would interest me. The e-mail told a story of a professor standing up in the middle of the classroom holding a glass of water out, arms length from his body.

"Who thinks this is heavy?" he asked the class.

No response.

"Raise your hand if you think this glass of water is heavy." he repeated and still no response.

"It's never about what you are holding that makes it heavy, rather how long you hold on to it."

Its true, if you think about it. You could hold an envelope full of feathers at arm distance and after a while your arm will go weak.

The same is true for stress.

How many statistics do we need to hear to remind us that December is full of stress, depression, anxiety and loneliness for a lot of people? While we are caroling one minute, someone else is drowning their sorrows, grieving a death, or disappointed again by the hand they have been dealt. It can all be very depressing to think of foster children separated from parents or the houses who can't afford for Santa to visit.

Even on the flip side of those who are more fortunate, there are still often disappointments. We build up Christmas Day like we built up the prom. It's never quite what you dreamed it to be.

So, let the glass of water down for the season. Allow yourself to let some stress go, sit down that disappointment and don't pick up any expectations. The longer you hold on to those things the more you will hurt and grow weak. Don't attempt to confront everything that has done you wrong over the year, instead give yourself a "vacation" from your worries. The glass will still be there should you need to pick it up again. Or maybe, when you finally let go of it then God can carry out His plan. He can't take things from you; you must first be willing to set it down.

Secret Santa Stress

A few weeks ago approached one of my bosses with a Christmas suggestion. Last year I received nine small gifts wishing me a Merry Christmas from my colleagues. I was not prepared to give in return and felt guilty for my lack last year.

"Why don't we draw names?" I asked my boss. "That way we only buy one gift!"

"Great idea! You're in charge!" she responded.

Note to self: have someone else bring the 'good ideas' to the boss next time.

Excited about the Christmas season, I jumped on the challenge. After everyone agreed to participate, I grabbed a basket and everyone drew a name. It was all going so smoothly, I could not have imagined the dramatic downfall of "secret Santa craziness" the week presented.

Starting Monday, I began receiving phone calls from one stressed out colleague to another. "What was the price limit?"
"I don't like the name I drew, is it too late to switch?"
"Are we exchanging before, during or after lunch?"
"Do we put our name on the present?"
"Why don't we ditch the name drawing idea all together and just bring a gift?"
"Are we playing a game with the secret Santa?"
And so on...

I truly thought I might have agreed to launch a missile at work, as much preparation that was now going into a simple secret Santa project. Every 'good idea' I would hear, there would be another that hated the very thought of the plan!

Yesterday was the time to exchange and I entered work to a frenzy of faces that were looking to me for answers to their Secret Santa questions. After a couple of people bit my head off and snipped that they did not want to do this again next year, I excused myself to my office and closed the door. Thank goodness for doors!

I was aghast at how a something with good intentions could fold itself out into a stressful mania of negative attitudes. Was there seriously not enough to stress about than to add a gift exchange at work to the list? Now I was stressed and wanted to call the whole thing off!!

All in all, it ended on a good note. Mainly because I surrounded myself with the three or four positive people in the bunch. But, that is where a lot of us are right now:
Stressed about EVERYTHING!!

I have yet to hear someone say how much they are enjoying the season. Everyone is complaining, angry, disappointed, sad, frustrated, or stressed about SOMETHING!! Including me.... until now! I am vowing to enjoy the season and not let stress effect me! If a bow doesn't fit right, a secret Santa exchange doesn't go your way, or the dinner must start an hour later then you would like -- GET OVER IT!!! Your attitude and feelings about the holidays will be what is remembered by all - mostly the children - not the details of the event. I saw a picture that said it all. A small child was asleep in a Christmas outfit and dream bubble said, "I am dreaming of a happy family for Christmas". Your attitude affects the very people who should enjoy the magic of Christmas! Don't spoil it!

"Stress is not what happens to us. It's our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose."

Maureen Killoran

"When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question:

Will this matter in 5 years from now?

If yes, then do something about the situation.

If no, then let it go."

Catherine Pulsifer

Straight No Chaser - 12 Days

I love this You Tube clip. Not only are the voices amazing, but it's also a fun performance! Enjoy!

Reading Job during Christmas?

"Oh my gosh! That's terrible!!" I heard Shane call out from our bedroom last night. I was getting ready for bed - sometimes a 30 minute routine. With face masks, eye cream, lotion, and flossing, I create a lengthy ritual.
"What?" I heard Shane say in disbelief.
I opened the bed room door expecting to find him watching a movie or reading a novel about vampires. Instead I saw him looking up from the Bible.
"Have you ever heard of this Job guy?" Shane asked
I smiled, "Yes. Haven't you?"
"No, but, this is terrible!" he responded.
I knew enough to know that Job's story was one about suffering. "Why don't you read something more uplifting?" I suggested. "Like the Christmas story!"
Shane then began to read from the book of Job aloud, too involved in the story to hear my suggestion. I tried again, "Let's read something else!"
But, he kept on reading, hushing me with his hands.
Shane became frustrated at points in the story. "How could God allow this?" he would ask rhetorically, before returning to his reading.
I have asked that question many times. I am sure you have, too. How could God allow suffering and pain?
Often those painful feelings are magnified during this season. We want it to be about joy and happiness, but we find we must re-grieve past losses before we can settle in the spirit of the Christmas. As if reliving the pain again, we come face to face with those things that have hurt us most. Miscarriages, infertility, death of a family member, addiction, failures, mental illness, loss and so on. There it is, harder now for us to suppress the hurt, even amidst the caroling and well wishes.
It's no wonder Scrooge said, "Bah hum bug!"
On the phone with a friend yesterday, I said, "I wish I could take it away. I wish I could say something that would make it better." Even when Shane began reading Job I asked him to switch stories. I was wrong. Denying someone their grief is also denying them their joy in the end. You must go through one before you feel the blessing of the other. Trying to skip the step is like taking this book out of the bible. We wouldn't be complete.
Amidst the grief of Job's story, it is truly an inspiring book. My favorite part we read last night was when Job's friends visited him. They sat with him wordless for seven days. Then his close friend spoke in Job 5:8-11:

"My advice to you is this:

Go to God and present your case to him.

For he does great works too marvelous

to understand. He performs

miracles without number.

He gives rain for the earth.

He sends water for the fields.

He gives prosperity to the poor

and humble, and he takes sufferers to safety."

Job's friend helped Job remained focused on the fact that God ultimately means for good, even in the state of grief.

Today's forecast: Forgetting the weather!

11 days until Christmas!

What's the weather like in your neck of the woods? I think we may be a little below 80 where I am. Or maybe the South will be in the 60's? It is a little odd decorating in shorts and a T shirt. I was complaining the other day about the weather and stating to a friend, "No wonder everyone gets sick with these changes of weather!"

I was then approached by a lady I know. She limped towards me, with one arm hanging lifeless and the same leg dragging slowly. She smiled and I remembered how young she really is, despite the effects 4 strokes have had on her body. Her smile was contagious and we greeted her.

"Can you believe this weather?" I asked, wondering if I turned 90 over night and can only talk about the weather with people these days.

"Believe what?" she asked looking dumbfounded.

"It's SO HOT!" I said dramatically!

"Oh"she smiled. "I don't pay it any attention. I just get up and take what I can get. I don't let matters I can't control take up too much space in my brain. Just thankful to be around to see what God gives us everyday."

And then she walked on, no doubt doing what her mission is... to lighten people's hearts and put perspective into every situation. Like a child on Christmas morning, this lady awaits each day with wonder and excitement.

What will be brought to you today? Be careful, as I now will be, not to label your gifts as "good" or "bad" - just accept the day as it is. Do what is loving and best in your control and the rest - trust that God knows what He's doing. Your forecast will be more uplifting when you do!

Litte Drummer Boy

It's official: 12 days until Christmas!

When some radio stations first began the "only Christmas music" I was tuned in! Who cares if it was way before Thanksgiving and I was still wearing a short sleeve shirt? I love Christmas music!

"The Little Drummer Boy" has been stuck in my head all day long. I have pa rum pum pum pummed my morning away (of course in opera voice). The story line of the song is moving to me.

A little boy hears news of the King being born and is aware he must take a gift to signify the greatness of such an event. He goes, without a material gift. He acknowledges his status as a poor man to Jesus, then asks if he can play his drum for Him. He played the best he knew how to play and received the blessing of being smiled upon by his Lord. Pa rum pum pum pum! Beautiful! Simple! And yet, incredibly accurate on how we are to live our lives to please Jesus.

Should the manger scene occur in today's time, I am embarrassed to say that I would likely be focused on superficial things. I would probably call my mom and ask what the proper attire would be for such an event. I would stress about being over or under dressed. There would not be one gift, but many gifts bought in order to decrease my anxiety of getting the right thing. And they would be wrapped in extravagant paper with big bows. Not a single thing a baby could find useful.

This fictional young boy is much wiser than me. He is genuine and honest. He immediately notices his likeness to the King. He doesn't just say he is poor, he says "I am a poor boy, too." The drummer noted the magnificence of Jesus, but also had the ability to see himself in the Savior. How awesome and true to what I believe God intends for us to do. The very reason God made Jesus in human form - to develop an kinship and commonality with His believers.

Perhaps most wisely, the boy recognizes that he has a gift of playing the drums. A God given gift. Do we acknowledge our talents or likenesses as gifts? Of course they are! Without a bow and not under a tree, but gifts no less that make us special and unique. Of course the best way to praise Jesus is to use our gifts the best that we know how.

Think about the instrument you've been given. Play it the best you can and as often as you can and you will be more than smiled upon by your God. Pa rum pum pum pum!

Stranger Danger?

Stranger.
The very word implies something negative. We are taught from a very young age to avoid strangers. Of course we teach our children not to talk to strangers. There are daily reports of kidnapping, abuse, theft, assault, car jacking and more. Just the other day a house two doors down from where I live was invaded by criminals at 10:30 in the morning. Neighbors reported seeing strangers lingering the streets that day. We are all afraid of who we don't know because it makes us feel out of control. If only we had super powers to weed out the good from the bad at first glance.

Having said all of this, it has been "strangers" that have made my day many of times. Picked me up when I ran out of gas, pointed me in the right direction when I was lost (many times!), provided me with an unsolicited compliment, assisted me in giving me tips on how to fix something, where to get a good deal, or who to talk to in times of need.

Now, I've either highlighted my stupidity on a number subjects or opened your eyes to how much we need "strangers". For the most part, my doctors are strangers, the clerk ringing up my Christmas presents is a stranger, the pharmacist is a stranger, and so is the trash collector. Yet, these people are so intimately acquainted to my life.

So, maybe Yeates was right when he wrote, "There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met." Regardless, we have an obligation to treat others kindly and warmly. Be careful not to get too wrapped up in your own stressors and ignore a time to reach out to another. I thank God for the strangers, or angels, He sent me many of times. Without them I may still be walking on the highway! Be in tune to when God may be calling you to help another. There is no danger in being kind to a stranger.

Do not forget to entertain strangers,

for by so doing some people

have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Stamps are for boxes!

Whew!
What a release! The air of negative energy that pressed down on me last week has been lifted. I feel back to my old self again. Four or five days can seem like an eternity when you wake up dreading the day. Unaware of what kind of mood you will be in from one minute to the next can make us immobile. We can be held hostage to our fear that our bad mood will linger forever.

That was the catalyst for my mood to change. I thought the gloom may stay forever. Slowly I was convincing myself that the easy going, chipper Liz was fading into a new, slightly depressed and more irritable person. I even had one colleague confirm my doubt. "The closer you get to the thirty the more things change in your mood" she said matter of fact. Was I destined to be in a foul mood for life?

When we put a stamp on something in this society, we tend to think it's true. Packages come to my door that may state, "Do not bend" or "This side up". I do as the instructions say. When I brought Christmas decorations down from the attic, I noticed my own handwriting labeling some boxes as "Fragile". I could not see in the box to see what was so fragile, but I more carefully handled the item based on it's description.

Stamping and labeling things can be a positive thing. I may have flung a box of china down the stairs mistaking it for the stockings. But, stamping people, or ourselves, is not a good thing.

"I'm just not romantic" one husband tells me in session. "Never have been the type to make candle lit dinners and bring home flowers."

"I'm not good at math" an anxious 20 year old confesses. "I can't finish school because I can't do math."

"I may always be like this." I tearfully said to my husband. "I may never snap out of this gloom."

The worried husband, anxious teenager and momentarily sad therapist were all wrong!

One of the most beautiful things about being human is that we have the power to change ourselves! We can re-invent who we are, or most importantly, how we define ourselves at any point in time. Erase any stamps that you have wrongly believed to be true. Start believing in the truth: That you can change your situation. You will not be in the same place tomorrow if you start internalizing truth rather than myths. Don't believe the lies your brain may configure. Believe the truth. You have the power to change! Let this be the only stamp you live by today.

Senseless

BLAH!

That's how I feel today. I have this lingering sense of a bad mood. The origin of the bad mood? Don't know. Not knowing why I feel the way I do only makes my mood a little darker. It's this kind of day that I feel like I should stay at home. Not to do me any favors, but to give those I will interact with the gift of not being subject to my possible hormonal tantrum.

Doesn't help much to turn on the news and hear about innocent people being gunned down while Christmas shopping. BLAH!!

I want to snap out of this funk. I need to snap out of it.

I often hear my client's expressing similar sentiments. They report session after session that they don't feel happy. Session after session they tell me they want to feel happy. And... session after session they tell me that they did not try anything new that week.

Sometimes I pull out a little experiential therapy.

I stand up in our session and exclaim dramatically, "I can't find my purse!".

And then I continue like a broken record...

"I can't find my purse, I can't find my purse, I can't find my purse, I can't find my purse."

If I am using this technique with a client, they are likely to be familiar with my style of therapy by this point and sense they are to respond to my broken record in some way.

"Check the cabinet." some say. Others point out, "When was the last time you saw it?" Some just laugh and say, "Well don't just stand there ,look for it!".

I learn so much from my clients.

When a gray cloud sets in on our life we are left with the choice of either living with it or learning how to fight it. Living with it means the bad mood won. Trying something - ANYTHING! - means we are picking up the boxing gloves and starting the fight. The only way to win is to fight.

Ask yourself the same questions my client's did about my purse.

"Check the cabinet" - look for your happiness. Choose behaviors that make you happy. Surround yourself with happy people.

"When was the last time you saw it?" - what were you doing differently when you were feeling better? I was exercising more, eating more healthy and walking the dog in the mornings. I have not done any of these all week. I need to trace my steps to the last place I saw happiness and start doing those behaviors again.

"Don't just stand there!" Doing NOTHING will bring you.... NOTHING. Try something... anything! Today I googled "Inspire Me". I found a blog (attitudeofgratitude.blogspot.com) that I enjoyed reading. I found beautiful artwork. I closed my eyes and meditated on positive images. I made a mental list of things I was grateful for. My mood began to life. I didn't just stand there. I tried something. Accepting the bad mood and allowing it to stay in my day without a fight is nothing less than a senseless act.

Soaking in life.

Got a second?

Go to the refrigerator and take some garlic out. Peel the outer leafy layer off until you get to the yellow core. Find some strong tape. Now tape the garlic to the inner part of your wrist. Once taped there, go about your business for the next thirty minutes or so.

After awhile, ask someone to smell your breath. Don't tell them about the garlic on your wrist. Just ask them to tell you what they smell.

Nine times out of ten, they will smell garlic.

Why can others smell the garlic on your breath when you did not ingest any orally?

I'm not scientist or doctor, but it seems pretty logical that the garlic soaks into the skin and then into the blood stream. Thus, making our breath smell garlicy.

Everything that we surround ourselves with in life does the same thing. Whether you are aware of it or not. The music you listen to, shows you watch and company you keep all soak into you and will eventually become you, too. When I have client's who are working on sobriety and tell me they are still hanging with their friends who use, I issue an old AA warning, "If you go to the barber shop enough times you are going to get a hair cut." Our surroundings do have an impact on us and, like chameleons, we eventually mold into the crowd. No matter how much we deny this could happen - it does.

Last week my house was a mess. The computer room had so much junk in it that you could barely walk in it. I felt stressed in here typing. Today it's clean as a whistle. It' s organized and decorated for the first time in 2 years. I am much more relaxed and find ideas flowing more readily.

The way you design your environment and the people you choose to frequent it will effect you. Incorporate daily inspirations in your life and allow it to surround you. That will soak in too!

"But now, if we introduce

into the this reverie the repetition

of the name of God,

we shall find that we can

control our moods,

despite the interference of the outside world....

the name of God will change the climate

of your mind.

It can not do otherwise..

We cannot long continue to repeat

any word without

beginning to think about the

reality which it represents."

Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali

Who Am I?

Please check out this video link. A friend sent it to me this morning and I am so glad she did. Not only is it beautiful visually, but it also has a very powerful message.
I think the majority of us have reflected the same sentiment: Who am I? Why would God listen to my prayers when there is so much going on in the world? What would make me think that I am actually worthy enough to have intervention from the spiritual world? How could something so holy and pure view me as magnificent and worthy?

We all know the right words to say. You have already started saying them as you read. But, do you believe them? Do you believe that you are worthy?

I watched the movie Dead Poets Society yesterday. What a powerful movie. The theme, of course, if "Carpe diem" or "Seize the Day". Robin Williams explains to his students, "We will all be food for worms shortly" and hence the message: seize the day. I couldn't help but notice the parallel in the lyrics, "I'm a flower quickly fading; here today and gone tomorrow."

I do not think that my total existence is here only to be food for worms one day. If that were the case then I might as well go back to sleep! No, I know there is a spiritual realm that will welcome me with open arms when my time has come. But, yes... my body will be food for forms and the physical form is fading.

So many people who are hurting, I believe, are having a spiritual crisis. They don't think they are worthy of being forgiven, worthy of being loved, worthy of even praying, not to mention have their prayers answered. Do yourself a favor and start believing in the words you already know to be true in your heart. Seize the day and allow the thing you think you are not worthy of to take control of your life and dramatically change it. Stop fighting it and start embracing it. Life is too short to miss the powerful opportunities for you life here. Carpe Diem!