Imagine

Do you have a New Years resolution yet? Mine is more like a "To Do" list...
Start flossing more, make an appointment to get my eyes checked, show up to work five minutes early, read more, excercise more, eat more healthy, save more money, do more charity, ....................
The list keeps going once I get started.
This year I think I will avoid making the traditional resolution that will eventually fail to be productive after a couple of months. Instead, I will vow to use my imagination. I will try to be creative in how I live life. Flexibe with what comes, not rigid with the boundaries I create for my world. I will try new things (maybe even some new vegetables) and will not let fear control me.

Imagine a world that you create without rules or fear. What would you do? How would things be different?
If something seems impossible it is probably not. You've just decided to be that. Wipe your mind clean of the old way of thinking and invite believing in the possible to be the way of thinking for this New Year.
Check out the You Tube clip for more inspiration and Happy New Year!

Holy Night

Why do we celebrate events year after year? Birthdays, anniversary's... Christmas. Every year we do the same thing - we pull out the decorations, we put them back up. We wrap up the gifts.., we unwrap the gifts. Buy and receive. It's the same routine. I wonder why we don't just stop the Christmas celebration all together?

"Oh Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth."

Christmas night and the Christmas season is more than just your "run of the mill" celebration. As the song implies, it is holy and sacred. We celebrate to remind us of what is really important about the season. The reminder is there in spirit... not in the wrapping paper or in the fruit cake. The reminder is there in the extra way we express love for one another.

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining."

Has the world changed much since that night? Of course it has - But, really - has it? Have you ever thought of what 'pining' means in the song? I just looked it up - in this version pining means: "to waste away with pain, hunger, grief, or desire". It doesn't say to feel pain, hunger, grief or desire... but to actually waste away in these emotions. The world, before Christ was born, was wasting away in negativity. Even now, some of us, are fading away in greed, depression, loneliness, feelings of low worth and fear of failure.

"Till He appeared and the Soul felt His worth!"

Then HE appeared.... and WE felt our TRUE worth. Whatever you are feeling... if it isn't that YOU are sacred, holy or chosen.... if it is anything else or less than - it's a lie. You are beautiful, perfectly made in Christ's image -- and your worth is immeasurable. You have been ANOINTED in Christ's love and grace. Do you wish you could give Jesus something for His birthday? Begin here -- begin believing in your worth and Christ will celebrate fully in His day.

"A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn."

How many of us are tired and weary? Even the weary can rejoice in the magnificence of being saved by HOPE!! There is a new dawn breaking --- a time for a fresh start! Perhaps this is the reason why we must celebrate -- to remember we can always begin again. We can always return in spirit to this night and celebrate in the fact that we are saved.... saved from waste, hunger, grief and desire. Saved in spirit, whenever we return to this moment.

"Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angels voices!

Do it -- get on your knees. Don't just close your eyes quickly - but, really humble yourself to the Lord. Feel the vulnerabilities of the motion --- and then experience the awesomeness of the act. We can do nothing more but fall in mercy to the one that pulled us out of the stormy sea of death. Hear the angels voices!!! This line is not commanding the angels to say something - rather, it is implying they are speaking all the time --- we must be commanded to hear them! Close your mouth and open the ears of your spirit --- hear the angels telling you of your worth and your calling!

"Oh night Divine. Oh night, when Christ was born."

This is a divine day. Not for anything else. If you make it anything else -- then you chose it to be that. But, Christ chose it to be divine for you and me... give Him that for His birthday. And remember that it is a holy night indeed.

Merry Christmas.

How Heavy is Your Christmas Glass?

Earlier today I received a "forward" in my inbox. I did my usual skim through to see if it would interest me. The e-mail told a story of a professor standing up in the middle of the classroom holding a glass of water out, arms length from his body.

"Who thinks this is heavy?" he asked the class.

No response.

"Raise your hand if you think this glass of water is heavy." he repeated and still no response.

"It's never about what you are holding that makes it heavy, rather how long you hold on to it."

Its true, if you think about it. You could hold an envelope full of feathers at arm distance and after a while your arm will go weak.

The same is true for stress.

How many statistics do we need to hear to remind us that December is full of stress, depression, anxiety and loneliness for a lot of people? While we are caroling one minute, someone else is drowning their sorrows, grieving a death, or disappointed again by the hand they have been dealt. It can all be very depressing to think of foster children separated from parents or the houses who can't afford for Santa to visit.

Even on the flip side of those who are more fortunate, there are still often disappointments. We build up Christmas Day like we built up the prom. It's never quite what you dreamed it to be.

So, let the glass of water down for the season. Allow yourself to let some stress go, sit down that disappointment and don't pick up any expectations. The longer you hold on to those things the more you will hurt and grow weak. Don't attempt to confront everything that has done you wrong over the year, instead give yourself a "vacation" from your worries. The glass will still be there should you need to pick it up again. Or maybe, when you finally let go of it then God can carry out His plan. He can't take things from you; you must first be willing to set it down.

Secret Santa Stress

A few weeks ago approached one of my bosses with a Christmas suggestion. Last year I received nine small gifts wishing me a Merry Christmas from my colleagues. I was not prepared to give in return and felt guilty for my lack last year.

"Why don't we draw names?" I asked my boss. "That way we only buy one gift!"

"Great idea! You're in charge!" she responded.

Note to self: have someone else bring the 'good ideas' to the boss next time.

Excited about the Christmas season, I jumped on the challenge. After everyone agreed to participate, I grabbed a basket and everyone drew a name. It was all going so smoothly, I could not have imagined the dramatic downfall of "secret Santa craziness" the week presented.

Starting Monday, I began receiving phone calls from one stressed out colleague to another. "What was the price limit?"
"I don't like the name I drew, is it too late to switch?"
"Are we exchanging before, during or after lunch?"
"Do we put our name on the present?"
"Why don't we ditch the name drawing idea all together and just bring a gift?"
"Are we playing a game with the secret Santa?"
And so on...

I truly thought I might have agreed to launch a missile at work, as much preparation that was now going into a simple secret Santa project. Every 'good idea' I would hear, there would be another that hated the very thought of the plan!

Yesterday was the time to exchange and I entered work to a frenzy of faces that were looking to me for answers to their Secret Santa questions. After a couple of people bit my head off and snipped that they did not want to do this again next year, I excused myself to my office and closed the door. Thank goodness for doors!

I was aghast at how a something with good intentions could fold itself out into a stressful mania of negative attitudes. Was there seriously not enough to stress about than to add a gift exchange at work to the list? Now I was stressed and wanted to call the whole thing off!!

All in all, it ended on a good note. Mainly because I surrounded myself with the three or four positive people in the bunch. But, that is where a lot of us are right now:
Stressed about EVERYTHING!!

I have yet to hear someone say how much they are enjoying the season. Everyone is complaining, angry, disappointed, sad, frustrated, or stressed about SOMETHING!! Including me.... until now! I am vowing to enjoy the season and not let stress effect me! If a bow doesn't fit right, a secret Santa exchange doesn't go your way, or the dinner must start an hour later then you would like -- GET OVER IT!!! Your attitude and feelings about the holidays will be what is remembered by all - mostly the children - not the details of the event. I saw a picture that said it all. A small child was asleep in a Christmas outfit and dream bubble said, "I am dreaming of a happy family for Christmas". Your attitude affects the very people who should enjoy the magic of Christmas! Don't spoil it!

"Stress is not what happens to us. It's our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose."

Maureen Killoran

"When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question:

Will this matter in 5 years from now?

If yes, then do something about the situation.

If no, then let it go."

Catherine Pulsifer

Straight No Chaser - 12 Days

I love this You Tube clip. Not only are the voices amazing, but it's also a fun performance! Enjoy!

Reading Job during Christmas?

"Oh my gosh! That's terrible!!" I heard Shane call out from our bedroom last night. I was getting ready for bed - sometimes a 30 minute routine. With face masks, eye cream, lotion, and flossing, I create a lengthy ritual.
"What?" I heard Shane say in disbelief.
I opened the bed room door expecting to find him watching a movie or reading a novel about vampires. Instead I saw him looking up from the Bible.
"Have you ever heard of this Job guy?" Shane asked
I smiled, "Yes. Haven't you?"
"No, but, this is terrible!" he responded.
I knew enough to know that Job's story was one about suffering. "Why don't you read something more uplifting?" I suggested. "Like the Christmas story!"
Shane then began to read from the book of Job aloud, too involved in the story to hear my suggestion. I tried again, "Let's read something else!"
But, he kept on reading, hushing me with his hands.
Shane became frustrated at points in the story. "How could God allow this?" he would ask rhetorically, before returning to his reading.
I have asked that question many times. I am sure you have, too. How could God allow suffering and pain?
Often those painful feelings are magnified during this season. We want it to be about joy and happiness, but we find we must re-grieve past losses before we can settle in the spirit of the Christmas. As if reliving the pain again, we come face to face with those things that have hurt us most. Miscarriages, infertility, death of a family member, addiction, failures, mental illness, loss and so on. There it is, harder now for us to suppress the hurt, even amidst the caroling and well wishes.
It's no wonder Scrooge said, "Bah hum bug!"
On the phone with a friend yesterday, I said, "I wish I could take it away. I wish I could say something that would make it better." Even when Shane began reading Job I asked him to switch stories. I was wrong. Denying someone their grief is also denying them their joy in the end. You must go through one before you feel the blessing of the other. Trying to skip the step is like taking this book out of the bible. We wouldn't be complete.
Amidst the grief of Job's story, it is truly an inspiring book. My favorite part we read last night was when Job's friends visited him. They sat with him wordless for seven days. Then his close friend spoke in Job 5:8-11:

"My advice to you is this:

Go to God and present your case to him.

For he does great works too marvelous

to understand. He performs

miracles without number.

He gives rain for the earth.

He sends water for the fields.

He gives prosperity to the poor

and humble, and he takes sufferers to safety."

Job's friend helped Job remained focused on the fact that God ultimately means for good, even in the state of grief.

Today's forecast: Forgetting the weather!

11 days until Christmas!

What's the weather like in your neck of the woods? I think we may be a little below 80 where I am. Or maybe the South will be in the 60's? It is a little odd decorating in shorts and a T shirt. I was complaining the other day about the weather and stating to a friend, "No wonder everyone gets sick with these changes of weather!"

I was then approached by a lady I know. She limped towards me, with one arm hanging lifeless and the same leg dragging slowly. She smiled and I remembered how young she really is, despite the effects 4 strokes have had on her body. Her smile was contagious and we greeted her.

"Can you believe this weather?" I asked, wondering if I turned 90 over night and can only talk about the weather with people these days.

"Believe what?" she asked looking dumbfounded.

"It's SO HOT!" I said dramatically!

"Oh"she smiled. "I don't pay it any attention. I just get up and take what I can get. I don't let matters I can't control take up too much space in my brain. Just thankful to be around to see what God gives us everyday."

And then she walked on, no doubt doing what her mission is... to lighten people's hearts and put perspective into every situation. Like a child on Christmas morning, this lady awaits each day with wonder and excitement.

What will be brought to you today? Be careful, as I now will be, not to label your gifts as "good" or "bad" - just accept the day as it is. Do what is loving and best in your control and the rest - trust that God knows what He's doing. Your forecast will be more uplifting when you do!

Litte Drummer Boy

It's official: 12 days until Christmas!

When some radio stations first began the "only Christmas music" I was tuned in! Who cares if it was way before Thanksgiving and I was still wearing a short sleeve shirt? I love Christmas music!

"The Little Drummer Boy" has been stuck in my head all day long. I have pa rum pum pum pummed my morning away (of course in opera voice). The story line of the song is moving to me.

A little boy hears news of the King being born and is aware he must take a gift to signify the greatness of such an event. He goes, without a material gift. He acknowledges his status as a poor man to Jesus, then asks if he can play his drum for Him. He played the best he knew how to play and received the blessing of being smiled upon by his Lord. Pa rum pum pum pum! Beautiful! Simple! And yet, incredibly accurate on how we are to live our lives to please Jesus.

Should the manger scene occur in today's time, I am embarrassed to say that I would likely be focused on superficial things. I would probably call my mom and ask what the proper attire would be for such an event. I would stress about being over or under dressed. There would not be one gift, but many gifts bought in order to decrease my anxiety of getting the right thing. And they would be wrapped in extravagant paper with big bows. Not a single thing a baby could find useful.

This fictional young boy is much wiser than me. He is genuine and honest. He immediately notices his likeness to the King. He doesn't just say he is poor, he says "I am a poor boy, too." The drummer noted the magnificence of Jesus, but also had the ability to see himself in the Savior. How awesome and true to what I believe God intends for us to do. The very reason God made Jesus in human form - to develop an kinship and commonality with His believers.

Perhaps most wisely, the boy recognizes that he has a gift of playing the drums. A God given gift. Do we acknowledge our talents or likenesses as gifts? Of course they are! Without a bow and not under a tree, but gifts no less that make us special and unique. Of course the best way to praise Jesus is to use our gifts the best that we know how.

Think about the instrument you've been given. Play it the best you can and as often as you can and you will be more than smiled upon by your God. Pa rum pum pum pum!

Stranger Danger?

Stranger.
The very word implies something negative. We are taught from a very young age to avoid strangers. Of course we teach our children not to talk to strangers. There are daily reports of kidnapping, abuse, theft, assault, car jacking and more. Just the other day a house two doors down from where I live was invaded by criminals at 10:30 in the morning. Neighbors reported seeing strangers lingering the streets that day. We are all afraid of who we don't know because it makes us feel out of control. If only we had super powers to weed out the good from the bad at first glance.

Having said all of this, it has been "strangers" that have made my day many of times. Picked me up when I ran out of gas, pointed me in the right direction when I was lost (many times!), provided me with an unsolicited compliment, assisted me in giving me tips on how to fix something, where to get a good deal, or who to talk to in times of need.

Now, I've either highlighted my stupidity on a number subjects or opened your eyes to how much we need "strangers". For the most part, my doctors are strangers, the clerk ringing up my Christmas presents is a stranger, the pharmacist is a stranger, and so is the trash collector. Yet, these people are so intimately acquainted to my life.

So, maybe Yeates was right when he wrote, "There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met." Regardless, we have an obligation to treat others kindly and warmly. Be careful not to get too wrapped up in your own stressors and ignore a time to reach out to another. I thank God for the strangers, or angels, He sent me many of times. Without them I may still be walking on the highway! Be in tune to when God may be calling you to help another. There is no danger in being kind to a stranger.

Do not forget to entertain strangers,

for by so doing some people

have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Stamps are for boxes!

Whew!
What a release! The air of negative energy that pressed down on me last week has been lifted. I feel back to my old self again. Four or five days can seem like an eternity when you wake up dreading the day. Unaware of what kind of mood you will be in from one minute to the next can make us immobile. We can be held hostage to our fear that our bad mood will linger forever.

That was the catalyst for my mood to change. I thought the gloom may stay forever. Slowly I was convincing myself that the easy going, chipper Liz was fading into a new, slightly depressed and more irritable person. I even had one colleague confirm my doubt. "The closer you get to the thirty the more things change in your mood" she said matter of fact. Was I destined to be in a foul mood for life?

When we put a stamp on something in this society, we tend to think it's true. Packages come to my door that may state, "Do not bend" or "This side up". I do as the instructions say. When I brought Christmas decorations down from the attic, I noticed my own handwriting labeling some boxes as "Fragile". I could not see in the box to see what was so fragile, but I more carefully handled the item based on it's description.

Stamping and labeling things can be a positive thing. I may have flung a box of china down the stairs mistaking it for the stockings. But, stamping people, or ourselves, is not a good thing.

"I'm just not romantic" one husband tells me in session. "Never have been the type to make candle lit dinners and bring home flowers."

"I'm not good at math" an anxious 20 year old confesses. "I can't finish school because I can't do math."

"I may always be like this." I tearfully said to my husband. "I may never snap out of this gloom."

The worried husband, anxious teenager and momentarily sad therapist were all wrong!

One of the most beautiful things about being human is that we have the power to change ourselves! We can re-invent who we are, or most importantly, how we define ourselves at any point in time. Erase any stamps that you have wrongly believed to be true. Start believing in the truth: That you can change your situation. You will not be in the same place tomorrow if you start internalizing truth rather than myths. Don't believe the lies your brain may configure. Believe the truth. You have the power to change! Let this be the only stamp you live by today.

Senseless

BLAH!

That's how I feel today. I have this lingering sense of a bad mood. The origin of the bad mood? Don't know. Not knowing why I feel the way I do only makes my mood a little darker. It's this kind of day that I feel like I should stay at home. Not to do me any favors, but to give those I will interact with the gift of not being subject to my possible hormonal tantrum.

Doesn't help much to turn on the news and hear about innocent people being gunned down while Christmas shopping. BLAH!!

I want to snap out of this funk. I need to snap out of it.

I often hear my client's expressing similar sentiments. They report session after session that they don't feel happy. Session after session they tell me they want to feel happy. And... session after session they tell me that they did not try anything new that week.

Sometimes I pull out a little experiential therapy.

I stand up in our session and exclaim dramatically, "I can't find my purse!".

And then I continue like a broken record...

"I can't find my purse, I can't find my purse, I can't find my purse, I can't find my purse."

If I am using this technique with a client, they are likely to be familiar with my style of therapy by this point and sense they are to respond to my broken record in some way.

"Check the cabinet." some say. Others point out, "When was the last time you saw it?" Some just laugh and say, "Well don't just stand there ,look for it!".

I learn so much from my clients.

When a gray cloud sets in on our life we are left with the choice of either living with it or learning how to fight it. Living with it means the bad mood won. Trying something - ANYTHING! - means we are picking up the boxing gloves and starting the fight. The only way to win is to fight.

Ask yourself the same questions my client's did about my purse.

"Check the cabinet" - look for your happiness. Choose behaviors that make you happy. Surround yourself with happy people.

"When was the last time you saw it?" - what were you doing differently when you were feeling better? I was exercising more, eating more healthy and walking the dog in the mornings. I have not done any of these all week. I need to trace my steps to the last place I saw happiness and start doing those behaviors again.

"Don't just stand there!" Doing NOTHING will bring you.... NOTHING. Try something... anything! Today I googled "Inspire Me". I found a blog (attitudeofgratitude.blogspot.com) that I enjoyed reading. I found beautiful artwork. I closed my eyes and meditated on positive images. I made a mental list of things I was grateful for. My mood began to life. I didn't just stand there. I tried something. Accepting the bad mood and allowing it to stay in my day without a fight is nothing less than a senseless act.

Soaking in life.

Got a second?

Go to the refrigerator and take some garlic out. Peel the outer leafy layer off until you get to the yellow core. Find some strong tape. Now tape the garlic to the inner part of your wrist. Once taped there, go about your business for the next thirty minutes or so.

After awhile, ask someone to smell your breath. Don't tell them about the garlic on your wrist. Just ask them to tell you what they smell.

Nine times out of ten, they will smell garlic.

Why can others smell the garlic on your breath when you did not ingest any orally?

I'm not scientist or doctor, but it seems pretty logical that the garlic soaks into the skin and then into the blood stream. Thus, making our breath smell garlicy.

Everything that we surround ourselves with in life does the same thing. Whether you are aware of it or not. The music you listen to, shows you watch and company you keep all soak into you and will eventually become you, too. When I have client's who are working on sobriety and tell me they are still hanging with their friends who use, I issue an old AA warning, "If you go to the barber shop enough times you are going to get a hair cut." Our surroundings do have an impact on us and, like chameleons, we eventually mold into the crowd. No matter how much we deny this could happen - it does.

Last week my house was a mess. The computer room had so much junk in it that you could barely walk in it. I felt stressed in here typing. Today it's clean as a whistle. It' s organized and decorated for the first time in 2 years. I am much more relaxed and find ideas flowing more readily.

The way you design your environment and the people you choose to frequent it will effect you. Incorporate daily inspirations in your life and allow it to surround you. That will soak in too!

"But now, if we introduce

into the this reverie the repetition

of the name of God,

we shall find that we can

control our moods,

despite the interference of the outside world....

the name of God will change the climate

of your mind.

It can not do otherwise..

We cannot long continue to repeat

any word without

beginning to think about the

reality which it represents."

Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali

Who Am I?

Please check out this video link. A friend sent it to me this morning and I am so glad she did. Not only is it beautiful visually, but it also has a very powerful message.
I think the majority of us have reflected the same sentiment: Who am I? Why would God listen to my prayers when there is so much going on in the world? What would make me think that I am actually worthy enough to have intervention from the spiritual world? How could something so holy and pure view me as magnificent and worthy?

We all know the right words to say. You have already started saying them as you read. But, do you believe them? Do you believe that you are worthy?

I watched the movie Dead Poets Society yesterday. What a powerful movie. The theme, of course, if "Carpe diem" or "Seize the Day". Robin Williams explains to his students, "We will all be food for worms shortly" and hence the message: seize the day. I couldn't help but notice the parallel in the lyrics, "I'm a flower quickly fading; here today and gone tomorrow."

I do not think that my total existence is here only to be food for worms one day. If that were the case then I might as well go back to sleep! No, I know there is a spiritual realm that will welcome me with open arms when my time has come. But, yes... my body will be food for forms and the physical form is fading.

So many people who are hurting, I believe, are having a spiritual crisis. They don't think they are worthy of being forgiven, worthy of being loved, worthy of even praying, not to mention have their prayers answered. Do yourself a favor and start believing in the words you already know to be true in your heart. Seize the day and allow the thing you think you are not worthy of to take control of your life and dramatically change it. Stop fighting it and start embracing it. Life is too short to miss the powerful opportunities for you life here. Carpe Diem!

Mobster Job Evaluations

Yesterday was judgement day!
No, I'm not typing from heaven.... not that judgment day.
The day when you have the ..... (imagine the the JAWS theme music playing).... work performance evaluations!!!

I entered the small office of my boss and friend. Yesterday she did not have her friend hat on, she was 100% boss. Her evaluations she held in her lap would determine if I received a raise and how much. I mean let's be honest, we're talking about dimes and nickels, not significant amounts of money. But, that didn't change the fact that my imagination was envisioning a scene from The Sopranos. The mobster (aka my boss) was smoking a cigar (sitting down a diet coke) and looking me over trying to decided if I needed to sleep with the fishes (get a quarter raise or not).

"How was your first year with us?" she asked
"Great." I said, willing her to skip the small talk and get down to the nitty gritty.

I was rated on three levels for each expectation: 1. Not met 2. Met 3. Exceeded.

My mobster's voice began her talk. She expressed very positive words and smiled frequently. She told me that I was doing an "awesome" job. She said that I was very knowledgeable about clinical issues and a joy to work with . She offered some constructive criticism, but overall sang my praises.

She opened the evaluations. I looked down the grid. The checks... they were in the middle. Almost all of them were checked under "Met".

WHAT???? My inner temper tantrum began as I remained poised in her presence.
"How dare her not to check me as exceeded in all of these categories!!"

Had the mobster leered me in with her smile and warm wishes only to throw me over the boat, leaving me to die, for a surprise twist ending?

Wow... I've been watching The Sopranos way too much.

In the end I challenged her some, but did not receive much change. The reality is that I could grow in a lot of areas. But, I still disagreed on her rating scale.

I was a little put out as I drove home.

"Why do you care about that?" A friend asked as I spilled my frustrations. "It's not like she said anything bad. Plus, you know you do an awesome job. Why not be content with that?"

She was right. Why am I so quick to have hurt feelings when others don't see me as "exceeding", going "above and beyond" or "top of the charts"? An A rating is not enough, I want an A+.

This negativity and frustration loudly speaks one warning to my soul: Don't be more concerned with matters of the ego. Be quick to erase praises that only stroke you as a person. Instead, focus your attention daily on whether or not you feel at peace with doing the best in the job God called you to do. Let the idea of being perfect in others' eyes sleep with fishes and start focusing your energy on pleasing the one true evaluator of our time here.

God is not unjust;

he will not forget your work

and the love you have shown him

as you have helped his people and

continue to help them.

We want each of you to show this same

diligence to the very end,

in order to make your hope sure.

We do not want you to become lazy,

but to imitate those who through

faith and patience inherit what has been

promised.

Hebrews 6: 10-12

Practice makes perfect.

Every day when I leave the YMCA. .....

Let me re-phrase.... When I actually make it to the Y to work out (that's better) I always grab a small crumpled piece of colorful paper the Y employees leave by the exit. When you unfold the paper and smooth out the wrinkles there is a typed message. Monday's message was this:

"Happiness is a thing to be practiced,

like the violin."

John Lubbock

It's that time of year when we are all asking our loved ones and friends, "What do you want for Christmas?". I have heard more than one person say, "For everyone to be happy.". What a wonderful, and just about impossible, gift to have.... everyone happy.

We often make the mistake of looking at happiness as a goal, a treasure to obtain, or the prize at the end of a very grueling race. In short, we think that happiness will be given to us, in it's entirety, all at once. If we work hard enough, grieve long enough, endure quite enough... then enough happiness will arrive at our doorstep along with the Amazon boxes we ordered for Christmas presents.

News Flash:

Happiness will not be under the Christmas tree this year.

The elves do not have the tools to put together your happiness.

I heard on the Oprah show, a lady talking about her recent gastric bypass surgery. She explained that after the surgery she felt this strange, almost uncomfortable, sensation after she ate. She didn't know what the feeling was, so she kept eating or ignored the feeling all together. Finally someone shared with her, "That feeling is when you are full and have had enough to eat."

This lady had her "light bulb moment" when she realized the strange sensation she was feeling was in fact sending her a message that she was full.

That's how it is with happiness. If we don't practice being happy, we won't know what the feeling is and when we do experience that sensation it could be ignored out of ignorance to the feeling.

Fact: You will experience happiness. So, make yourself familiar with how this feeling effects you and welcome it to your life.

Do something today that you think will make you smile, laugh or feel good.... even for a moment. Call a friend or loved one you haven't talked to in a while, tell a joke, enjoy a bowl of ice cream, watch a comedy. Make the choice to practice feeling happy... don't wait for it to be under the tree or you'll never get your wish. Like everything, practice makes perfect.

Life through a dog's eyes...

Most of you have met Wyatt. In case you haven't had the pleasure.... meet our son!

Wyatt is a funny dog, with his very own unique personality. This morning was the first time he has been on a walk since last Monday or Tuesday. Noticing the leash in my hand, Wyatt greeted me with a wagging tail and perked up ears.

I put his leash on and BOOM!! Away we went on our jog/walk. The neighbors often joke, "Who's walking who?" as we run by.

This jolt of excitement and unconditional regard is certainly the reason why people say they are "dog people" and may have a dislike for cats. Our two cats are just now finished pouting that we left town for a few days and have graced us with their presence on the couch.

If Wyatt could talk, I have a feeling he would say, "WALK!! Let's go on a walk!! YAY!". If Wyatt didn't greet me with excitement when I held a leash I would pick him up and take him straight to the vet.

Wyatt eats the same thing for breakfast and dinner, every day for all 3 years of his life. He occasionally gets the same treat he has always received when he sits. Wyatt doesn't pout and say, "Oh now you want to walk, thanks for leaving me all alone." Instead, he jumps at the chance for companionship.

I don't know about you, but I would have a difficult time eating the same thing day in and day out. Enduring the same schedule every day would be a bore.

Maybe we should live our lives a little bit more like Wyatt. Thankful for food, not complaining about it's uniqueness. Excited about the walk and not putting our tail between our legs because of bad weather. Ready to accept goodness or a kind act without questioning pretenses and motives. Just happy to be alive and enjoying all the good things God gave us. Not wishing for more. Try living like man's best friend today!

Step by Step

Everything in my life is full right now.
My stomach is stuffed from pecan pie.
My car is still loaded from the trip.
My sinuses are full.
My to do list is growing.
I think there was even a full moon over the weekend.

"My plate is full", as they say.
"Tis the season" as others say.
"When it rains, it pours." ... you get the picture.

Before we left Shane's family, we visited his grandmother again in the hospital. She'll be discharged Tuesday. The major surgery she endured comes with restrictions she must strictly abide by in order to heal properly. Not being able to bend over the waist is one of the limitations.

When I was straightening up her house and getting ready to leave, I noticed how much bending over I did. There were stairs she could not go up. Even using the restroom or bathing would be a chore for her.

"How are you going to do it all?" I asked her, not trying to hide my nerves about the difficultly of the healing process ahead. "How will you not bend over? Who will help you? Will someone be able to rearrange the house so that you are able to reach things?"

I was working myself into a small panic imagining how her life may be rearranged.

"One step at time" she said with a soft smile, "and I'll have to learn to let some things go, won't I?"

She looked completely at ease. Without fear and worry. Plus, she had the right attitude for the job.

As your life begins filling up this season, remember the words from this wise woman. Whether it's getting your Christmas shopping done, fighting depression, spring cleaning or healing from surgery. Remember, one step at a time and learn to let some things go. You'll enjoy this time more than ever and recover smoothly!

To grandmother's house we go...

Every year Shane and I travel to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family. The drive is roughly 8 hours from our hometown. One year it was close to 13 hours because of traffic. So, we never quite now what we are getting into.

This year we had to drive two cars down because we are leaving one at our destination. I knew it had to be done, but I was less than thrilled. Duty calls.

Before the trip Shane over heard me talking to my mom... "The drive is going to be miserable." (really drawing out the miserable part).

Later Shane confronted me stating, "It's not going to be miserable."

"Yes it is." I said stubbornly, "Eight hours in the car by myself and in traffic. It's going to be miserable. But, we have to do it!"

He ended it at that, but I could tell he was put off by pessimistic attitude.

So, we woke up Thanksgiving morning at 4:30am and took off. Thirty minutes later it was pouring down rain. POURING down rain... and Shane discovered the wind shield wipers didn't work on his vehicle. We pulled over at the gas station. Closed.

We are wet and cold running from one car to the other. We went to Walmart, ran through the rain and pick up some Rain X for his windows (only after a debate in the store about if it would actually work).

I complained that there was no Starbucks.
I complained that one gas station was closed.
I complained that the other gas station's credit card machine was down.
I complained about the high fees from ATM's.
I complained about the rain.
I complained about the cold.
I complained about being hungry.
I complained about the zits on my face.
I COMPLAINED ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Shane was less than Thankful that I had vocal cords at that moment.

That might have been the reason he left the gas station, claiming he thought I was behind him, when really I was still in the parking lot stewing in my sea of complaints. Oh and did that give me a chance to exaggerate everything! "YOU LEFT ME!!" I exclaimed with a whiny, annoying voice.

Shane deserves a medal.

To be honest, the rest of the drive was fine. More than fine, actually enjoyable. I listened to a book on tape that was very funny. I called my family and friends and expressed how thankful I was that they were each in my life. Shane and I made faces at each other through the windows, laughing at how quickly we can be back in 3rd grade. We made it to our destination much quicker than I thought and without traffic.

Our destination was the hospital where Shane's grandmother is over Thanksgiving this year. She'll be out soon, but the tears in her eyes and her very sad smile show her disappointment that she is not hosting her usual big feast.

"How was your drive?" she asked

Shane eyed me. "It was just fine" I said meaning it.

Suddenly everything changes from the perspective of the hospital.

I hope your Thanksgiving day was a happy one. Filled with love, happy memories and relaxation. Ours was ... and still is. I am thankful that my husband has patience. I am also thankful for the lesson I learned.

Don't judge an experience before it happens. Be careful to label something as going to be "miserable" or a terrible thing to do. If you are going to label it as something, convince yourself that it's going to be pleasant.

You will always get what you are looking for when you have already made up your mind about how it is going to be.

Moving honey or sucking blood?

November 19th, 2006:

"I am so stressed out about Christmas."

That was an excerpt from my journal last year. Thirty six days before Christmas and I was writing unevenly and quickly about how frustrated I was over what should be a very peaceful time. Through tears, I described how hard it was to make everyone happy. I went so far, that I even began a tirade about having nothing that looked good on me to wear to a Christmas party.

November 19th. It wasn't even Thanksgiving yet and I was all worked up over Christmas. The thing is that I only remember positive things from last year. I wonder what on Earth could have been so pressing that I actually allowed the stress to interrupt what should be a fun beginning to my favorite season.

So, looking back I should be reflecting on how much I have grown and matured, right? Hmm... I think it was just a few hours ago that I snapped at Shane and said I really needed a wish list ASAP. And if I am being really honest, I did pout in the closet this weekend about my perceived lack of an exciting wardrobe that flatters my ghostly pale skin.

What's wrong with me? Why do I stress over superficial things year after year during the season that defines love and sacrifice?

"It's not how busy you are,

but why you are busy.

The bee is praised;

the mosquito is swatted."
Marie O'Connor

This year I am going to try to be the bee and not the mosquito. I would much rather spread the sweet nectar of the holiday than suck the life out of time with family and celebrating Jesus' birth. Will you join me? Life is sweeter when you stop sucking.

Beating the clock.

"You have a lot of time!"
I looked up at my friend and co-worker wondering if there was someone else in the room she could possibly be making this statement too.
I stared at her with a blank look.
"To blog, I mean. You must have a lot of time to sit down and write those."
"Oh, I guess I do." I replied lightly.

I had to think about that for a minute. Time is something I can never get enough of. When I go to bed each night I could list several things that I didn't have time to do that day. My "to do" list is always left with more to do than accomplished.

Time is the excuse I gave myself when I wanted to write ,but wasn't yet. Now that I am writing, my friend is exactly right, I do have a lot of time. Time I never knew was there before. I wake up some mornings before the alarm because I am excited about an idea to post. I stay up late other nights reading inspirational thoughts that might apply to my life. I spent 2 hours last Friday night updating the blog - Adding You Tube video options at the bottom of the page, search engines so that you may find other interesting blogs and even an Amazon store to begin some Christmas shopping. I loved doing it! Just a few months ago I thought I would never have time to do this.

Time is an interesting concept. Some of us are so rigid on time that we allow the clock, not our bodies, to tell us when we are hungry or sleepy. We get bogged down in our everyday lives that we forget we can be flexible and change things up. We have to reclaim control over our lives and ditch the clock!!

OK, let's be realistic. My watch will be glued to my left hand. I have to end sessions on time, I have to be at work on time, I have to rely on time. But, not letting time control us is the key. When you are following your spirit, the time spent doing a task is fun and enjoyable. You don't count the seconds for it to end... you never want it to end.

If there is something that you want to do today or this week, but, you don't think you have enough time.. challenge yourself and experiment with time. Whether it's to visit a friend, start a new hobby, clean out a junk drawer, re paint the den, or learn to play the piano. Make a commitment to not allow time to stand in your way of doing something your spirit is calling you to do. You'll be surprised how much time is on your side!

Logan, the Sky Angel Cowboy!

Wow. This little boy is incredible. After putting a calf down, this boy called the radio station and delivered a very powerful message. It brings me to tears. I don't think anyone could have said it better than this honest, sweet and wise beyond his years boy. Enjoy.

Let it Rip!

To keep up my license, I have to attend Continuing Education classes regularly. A few months ago I was so excited to attend a training entitled "Psychic Events in the Lives of Clients and Clinicians". I was intrigued immediately. A seminar about psychic events would surely hold my attention longer than, "How to Work with Difficult People" or "How to Help your Client Understand Her Feelings". I was stoked!

When I walked into the training I immediately felt the familiar distance in age with the other participants. Other than examples from paranormal psychology, this lecture was spiritually based. The speaker noted that most who are interested in this subject are women in their mid forties and above. I don't quite understand the logic behind that, but having been referred to as an "old soul" in the past, I felt at ease with the description.

I was soaking up every bit of this lecture. I was inspired! I was learning! I was on the corner of my seat in the first row not missing a beat in the over crowded classroom. After our lunch break, the presenter informed us that she was going to lead us in a meditation before moving forward with the rest of the material.

We were asked to stand. This must have been a popular training, because I could barely move my arms without bumping into my neighbors. I listened intently and followed every move instructed by the leader. Eyes closed, deep breathing, erasing the mind.

"Imagine space all around you. Ahead of you, behind you, below you and above you there is an infinite amount of space." The speaker's hypnotic voice continued, "There is only you in this room. You are relaxed."

I was really into this meditation, feeling peaceful and energized all at the same time.

"Every muscle is loose and you are free of expectations, judgements and...."

At that very moment, my relaxed stomach muscles decided to release the gasses stored up from lunch in a very loud and intrusive way.

How can I make this more clearer?

In a room with my colleagues, whom I would prefer to respect me, I tainted the air, disturbed the silence and took them out of their peaceful trance with a loud flatulence.

To put it bluntly, I farted.

Here people were in serenity, imagining their perfect place, and there I go stinking up the whole fairy tale land.

There was no cat to blame, not even a child I could look to and snicker. I would have just assumed to be striped naked and asked to karaoke "The Electric Slide" in front of these intelligent people than to loudly and disrespectfully declare my lunch right there in the middle of the seminar!!!!!

I was mortified, I was disgusted, I was so afraid to open my eyes!!

There were some giggles, but most attempted to be polite. My face was hot, my body frozen and the meditation was over. I had to face the stares.

And there she was, my neighbor, a sweet Italian lady in her late sixties. She was looking at me and giggling, stifling her laugh so that her shoulders shook. She patted me on the back with soft, dancing eyes. "You really let it rip!" I swear she had pride in her tone. She was not ridiculing, she was laughing with me. I began to chuckle. She called her daughter over. "Honey, did you hear her? This one was really feeling it!" At this point there were tears in the ladies eyes from laughter.

I couldn't help it, I began laughing uncontrollably. The more they laughed, I laughed. A moment ago I was ready to wish myself to Mars or leave the room in tears, one. Now I was laughing with my new found friends.

Later in the day we broke into small groups and this mother and daughter couple invited me to join. We had afternoon tea together on a break and shared stories about our families, traditions and cultures. I enjoyed these lighthearted women. I liked listening to them laugh and interact. At the end of the day we exchanged business cards and well wishes. The eldest whispered to me, "Honey, I am so happy you are able to laugh at yourself... it's the most important thing in life."

And they were gone. Out of my life. I am so thankful for these woman. They threw me an inter tube when I was sinking in a sea of embarrassment. They didn't ignore my faux-pas with judging eyes that said, "We know you did that awful thing, but we won't think to speak of it". Rather, they laughed and embraced my humanness. I went from feeling like and outcast to beaming with pride in my experience from the day.

Did you know that a healthy person farts on average 16 times a day? Mostly in his/her sleep. I looked it up before I began this post, only to reassure myself that it wasn't just me.

We are all only human. Embrace the fact that you are nothing more or less. When we are able to laugh at our flaws, we are truly living life to the fullest. Embrace others' imperfections with love. If we live in shame of those imperfections that define us as humans then we are unnaturally placing judgement on what our Higher Power deemed necessary for us.

Maybe that's a little deep for a blog about farting in a seminar.

To put it lightly, laugh at yourself and let it rip!

Chats with therapists and boat poses.

"I just don't know what to do!"
I was talking with a colleague about a dilemma I was facing.
"You said that already." He looked at me with a smile.
"But, I don't know.. it's hard to explain. It's just that I don't know which way to go."
I looked at him for answers.
Nothing... he was still staring and smiling.
Working with therapists can provide you with cheap therapy, but can also be frustrating when they refuse to give advice!
"I swear if you ask me what I think I should do I am going to go nuts!" (did I mention I can throw temper tantrums?)
"What's so urgent? If you don't know, it's not time to know." He explained warmly.
Clearly he wasn't getting it, I thought, then he would understand the urgency.
"I just don't want to make the wrong the decision! I just don't want to screw up!" (I may have been whining at this point.)
"So what if you screw up? Who cares if you make a mistake? Don't let fear of failing be the cause of such distress. We all screw up.. get over it." With a pat on the back, he walked out of my office.

SO WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE?

I was aghast. I rolled my eyes. I was dumbfounded.

I realized he was right.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, or make the perfect decisions. The truth is that it's impossible. None of us are perfect. We can strive to be the best we know how to be, but the extra stress and worry are what we add. We don't need that extra baggage, it only clouds the brain.. and then we can't see clearly. The more we worry, the more clouds in our brain and the less likely chance we can see the right path.

The other day in yoga class, I was in boat pose. It's when you balance on your tail bone with your legs and arms extended. You look like a boat and your abs get a killer workout. My stomach was shaking, I was holding my breath, counting the seconds, looking at my instructor like I was going to chop her head off if she didn't announce for us to release. But, she held it... and held it... "I can't take it anymore!" ( I was whining in my head this time!)
"When you relax into it, it will be less challenging. The more you fight it and try to control it, the harder it will be. Once you start breathing and allow your body to relax into the pose, the pressure will lessen." she advised.

I tried it. I breathed, relaxed my body and my mind. My stomach was still shaking, but, there was less pain, less urgency, less soreness.

Whatever is pressing on you today, relax into it. Give up the struggle. Put down your guard and step out of the boxing ring. Breathe into it and experience the frustration lessen. If you don't know the answer, now is not the time to make it. If you must make a decision today, then go with your instinct and allow yourself the freedom to make a mistake.

When Opporunity Knocks..

My mom came in town this weekend and we enjoyed some 'girl time'. Two of our favorites: shopping and watching movies. Have you seen Evan Almighty? It's not an Oscar winner, but, I enjoyed some of it's messages. One of my favorite parts can be seen on the clip posted yesterday. Morgan Freeman, the actor playing 'God', explains to the wife of "New York's Noah" that the flood was not done out of anger, rather for an opportunity to show love. He goes on to describe that God answers our prayers through providing us opportunities.
I have been stuck on this message.
God provides us opportunities...
Why doesn't He just give us exactly what we prayed for, spelled out in black and white? Isn't that what a loving 'father' would do?
When I am stuck with a tough decision, or become tired of bearing a pain in my life, I want to throw a temper tantrum like a two year old does when mom or dad won't by the extra lollipop in the grocery store. Ok, let's be honest: I do throw a full fledged temper tantrum. I stomp, grunt, whine, and declare the unfairness of the situation. I stick my tongue out, cross my arms and declare silent treatment with God. The more I grow, not in age, but, spiritually, I have learned to cut these silent treatments shorter and shorter.
When our eyes are set only for what we are looking for, then we miss what our higher power may be sending us. If you are lonely, and pray for relief from that terrible feeling, God may have sent you the opportunity to find a new friend. Maybe it comes in the form of a neighbor stopping by to say 'hi', or an unexpected invitation to a social gathering. But, if our eyes are closed, we may miss the answer to our prayers. What's the point of praying if we are not going to receive the answers?
We do need to give things to God. We do need to believe that our higher power will arrange our lives to perfectly meet our needs. But, that does not mean that we are lazy participants in this relationship. Keep your eyes open for opportunities that God is allowing to change your life. Be open to receiving these messages and gifts. Understand that your prayers are not going to be answered in your way, but in an all knowing, magnificent way. If things are tough right now, remember God is not shunning you, rather he is loving you during your time of need. Keep faith that God will answer your prayers, and then keep your soul open for the opportunity to accept the gift. When opportunities knock , open the door and allow them to come in.

I tell you the truth,

if you have faith as small as

a mustard seed,

you can say to this mountain,

'Move from here to there'

and it will move.

Nothing is impossible for you.

Matthew 17:20

Evan Almighty - The Meaning of the Flood

I love this clip!

Tigger or Eeyore?

Have you seen Pausch's Last Lecture video floating all around the web?
If you haven't heard about it... let me fill you in briefly.
Randy Pausch was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University who is currently dieing of pancreatic cancer. Before leaving the university, he delivered his "last lecture". He explains in this lecture that a professor is suppose to pretend as if this is the last lecture (s)he will ever give. He, however, is dieing... so, it essentially was his last chance to deliver the messages he deemed important. He focused his teaching points on how to live out your childhood dreams. It's very inspirational and moving. I suggest you check out the video link. The full video is about 1 hour long. The Oprah clip is really great too, and only 15 mins if you don't have a lot of time. For some reason I couldn't get the links to post, so search "Pausch's last lecture" at any site. Or go to www. oprah.com and search "Pausch's last lecture" for the abbreviated version. I found his lecture very courageous and inspiring. Check it out!
One of my favorite points of advice he focused on in his lecture was, "You have to decide early on if you are a Tigger or an Eeyore". I think I know what I am. I even think my parents might have called me Tigger a time or two growing up. I was bouncing all over the place. But, I know Mr. Pausch did not mean this in terms of energy. Rather, he meant it to mean that you have to focus early on if you are going love life or loathe life.
I thought I was going to blog about how you didn't have to be one or the other (Tigger or Eeyore) and that you could comfortably find your spot somewhere in the middle. Now, as I am typing I have changed my mind. You do have to decide. You have to decide if you are going to live life to the fullest, or mope around and miss the action. You have to know if you are going to view the world through a lens of hope and joy, or if your lens magnifies the unjust and unfair. Are you going to spring at the chance to help others, spend time with friends and put a smile on someones face? Or are you going to stay in one spot and complain when others come to you?
Are you words going to be uplifting or bring others down?
When I heard Mr. Pausch speak, it moved me to know this man will be dead in a matter of months. Regardless of this fact, he reiterated, "I'm going to have fun and enjoy this time".
You are going to die.
I am going to die.
We are all going to die.
Now that we have the uncontrollable, inevitable truth out of the way... it's time to define your journey here.
Is your spirit already dead while your lifeless body roams this Earth?
Or are you going to supercharge your goals, life purpose, change your glasses and see through the positive lense?
The time here in human form is a gift.. not an accident. You are a gem with a specific purpose. Begin to love the time you have here and have fun!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers

Is Tiggers are wonderful things

Their tops are made of rubber

The bottoms are made out of springs

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy

Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun

But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers

Is I'm the only one!

Tigger's favorite Song

Winnie the Pooh

Free as a bird.

I really like this cartoon a friend sent me. It reminds me of watching birds. They always seem to be having fun, soaring without a care in the world. Life can be simple for us, too,if we keep this attitude. How can God help us, like he does the birds, if we are too afraid to hand over the reigns? Let go of one thing you are worried about today and have faith that your higher power will work out all the kinks. You'll be amazed at how much more peaceful you will feel and how quickly the problem will work itself out. Imagine for a moment that you are free as bird... give yourself a break and let God take over.

Talk is cheap..

One of my best friends called me one day to 'check in'. We talked about all our families and friends, the weather, our weekend plans and so forth.
"So, how are things with you?"
She knew what I meant. When you know someone well you don't always have to say the words exactly to know how what your friend is asking.
"No luck getting pregnant", she answered. "They are going to do some more tests this week."
I could hear the sorrow in her voice.
"Well, I'll be praying for you this week."

My friend was hurting. She wanted so badly to get pregnant and after over a year of trying everything she knew to do, her prayers were still not answered. I grieved for her. Not only because I loved her and didn't want her to hurt, but that I knew she would be an awesome mother. I ended just about every conversation we had by telling her that I would pray that she and her husband would become pregnant.

One day my mom inquired about this friend. "How is she doing?" my mom asked.
"She's doing good... but, could still use your prayers".
And then it hit me like a load of bricks were dropped from the heavens square onto my heart.

I had yet to say a single prayer for my friend.

One of my oldest, dearest friends. The one who chipped her teeth sliding down my stairs in second grade. The friend who jokingly added my last name to hers when we spent a whole summer together. The friend who was always there for me through thick and thin. The friend who still calls on my brother's birthday 14 years after his death. I had failed her. Failed myself. Failed our friendship.

I prayed immediately. I prayed daily. Not the same prayer over and over, because I know God hears me the first time. I prayed the doctors knew the best treatment, I reminded God what good parents they would make, I prayed her husband would have patience and that her heart would be filled with peace.

Two months later I received the phone call that she was expecting!

Did I make her pregnant? No - genetically impossible and last I checked I don't have super powers (but, I'll check again later today!).
I do believe in the power of prayer. My friend had a lot of people praying for her.

Why did I not follow through with what I said? Selfishness, laziness, fill in the blank. I love her dearly, but was unintentionally focusing my prayer life on me and my needs. I was wrong in assuming that I had to pray at the same time every day, in the same fashion.
We can pray anywhere, anyhow with anyone about anything. Eyes closed, eyes open. Formally or informally. The point is the action, not the structure of it. I have learned a lesson through all of this. First, when you say you are going to do something... do it. Right then. Right now. Two, talk is cheap.. but, prayer is powerful.

"Remember you will judged by your actions, not your intentions.

You may have a heart of gold -

but, so does a hard boiled egg."

Author unknown

Whatley: table for two

Concord has lots or restaurants! If you are in the mood for anything at all, we've got it. Ruby Tuesdays, Olive Garden, Crackle Barrel, Long Horn, Carrabas, Applebees, Red Lobster, and many more are on one strip leading the way to the Concord Mills..(a shoppers dream). The problem is that Shane and I get bored with the chain restaurants and try to make it a mission to find somewhere new and different, smaller and less commercialized. We like the experience of eating out just as much as the food.

This week I was thrilled to find out that a locally owned restaurant had just opened a few miles down the road. We made a date to go there Saturday night. As we drove up to the restaurant I "ooed" and "ahhed" at the unique look of the building. A fire was built and heaters were placed on a beautiful candle lit porch. The hostess greated us warmly and took our names. While we waited for the table, my taste buds began to dance with excitement as I watched other guest's entrees come out of the kitchen.

A team of wait staff dressed in all black presented the tables with beautiful displays of mouth watering food. The sauce was poured in fancy designs around the elegant square white plate. I quickly glanced at the menu to make sure we were in our price range. Whew... safe. Even the restrooms had a feel of significance. "This is my new favorite place!", I announced to Shane as the hostess walked us to the table. "You haven't even eaten the food yet" he jokingly reminded me.

After we ordered I stalked other people's plates of food. Eyeing every dish and planning the different meals I would get each time we came back. When our stufffed chicken and pork loin came to the table I could hardly wait to dig in. As it usually is when we eat, silence filled the table.

I'll cut to it.... the mash potatoes were cold and without flavor. The chicken was dry and stuffed with one leaf of spinach from what I could tell. I chewed slowly looking at my plate. I didn't want to express my disappointment and ruin the positive feel. I looked at Shane who was smiling. "How is it?"

"Not good" I admitted.

"Mine isn't either". And we both laughed.

Shane's pork loin was burnt, dry and also without flavor.

What a bummer! The presentation was so awesome, the building so inviting, the wait staff so friendly... how could the food be such a disappointment?

While presentation is important, it never matters unless the product has quality. I am sure you have visited a 'rough' looking place on the outside that quickly turns into your favorite restaurant. What sold it? The food of course.

Today focus on the quality of your work and time with others. Instead of running late to an appointment trying to fix your hair, go with unfixed hair and be centered at the meeting. Don't try to guess what to say to a friend in need, instead just listen and focus on the quality of hearing her words. If things go off schedule, remember to be flexible and think of the importance of your attitude, rather than the calendar. When hosting a dinner or small gathering your guests will leave reflecting your attitude from the night. If you are warm, honest and focused on their company, they will leave the same. But, if you fuss about the dust bunnies, the dirty dishes or the paint on the walls you don't agree with... they will depart with that attitude.

The end result in work and life has more to do with the quality of the person than his presentation. Don't try to dress up a poor meal, instead focus on improving the dish.

I love mornings like this. I went to bed early and thanks to the hour we gained I feel rested and alert when the rest of the world appears to still be sleeping. Tip toeing out of the bedroom and through the house I take a seat next to the window, ready to observe the world in it's peaceful, natural state. My goal is not to be heard or noticed.
Sadie, my normally energetic cat, props up on the hand made afghan, carelessly thrown on the couch. She starts going in circles, making her spot appropriate to lie in. When she is satisfied with her resting place, her body curls up in a ball, placing her head between her paws.
I hear a noise and turn to see my other cat, Daisy, scraping the ground in front of her food bowl. As if she is covering her food in the wild, Daisy scratches all around her food bowl. Amazing how they are conditioned to do these survival tricks having never spent a day in the wild. Our dog, Wyatt, sits on the porch, alert, but with every muscle still. No doubt staring at the squirrel that has entered his territory below.
The birds, the squirrels, even the breeze, all appear different, mysterious and exciting when I take the time to silently notice it. I know that the world will wake up soon. Alarms will go off, the cars will start, the TV's will turn on, the lawn mowers will begin and we will all assume that we 'own' this world.
What's that saying about assuming?
Don't make and ass out of you and me.
My goal as I begin a new week is to stop assuming that the world is mine. That my goals are all that is important. That my ways of living are the 'correct' or 'proper' ones. That I am in the only one in this world with an agenda.
Go about your business today... turn on the TV, cut your grass, do all the things you would normally do. Take a second to remember that you are merely a part of the world, not there to own it. Share this space we have been given and be patient with all the world's inhabitants. Embrace in the diversity of people and things and remember you are just one among them, not an authority over them.
Happy Sunday!

This too shall pass

I believe everyone should have a motto. A personal saying engraved in memory used to coach us through events in our lives. I say several throughout the day..... "One step at a time".... "You are doing the best you can". These words calm me down when my stress level starts to rise. I think our brain doesn't automatically know when to slow down... we have to tell it too.
"This too shall pass" is one of my personal favorites. I first began to use this saying when grief or hard times were in my life. Acknowledging that the pain could not last forever allowed me to renew faith and hope that good things were around the corner. It made the dark tunnel a little more bearable. It prevented pain to evolve into suffering.
In the cycle of life, pain is not the only thing that passes. We feel pain and grief because it slams into us and knocks us to our knees. It is a force that refuses to be ignored. The happy times, however, seem to elude us. It doesn't knock us down in the way pain does. In fact, we often have to embrace it ourselves before we can feel the full impact of the good things around us. Otherwise it is, and feels, at a distance.
I have never heard of a drought, storm or fire lasting forever. Have you? Thank goodness they pass.
Neither have I heard of a rainbow lasting forever.
This weekend think about the words, "This too shall pass" to acknowledge that the circumstances in your life will change. Tomorrow, today will be a memory.. Appreciate the good things, the gifts, the blessings in your life. Take time to notice them and celebrate their existence! Don't drive right past the rainbow... pull over and experience it for a moment.

Masks

There is nothing

that gives more assurance

than a mask.

Colette

October 31st is fun for me! The costumes, creativity, bright colors and (of course) the candy make the normal Wednesday a little more festive. Dressing up and pretending to be someone or something you are not can give us quite a thrill.

Some of us dress up in masks and costumes everyday. Not the ones that we can see, but the pretend acts we layer on to shield our true selves from others. In a way, it is necessary. I don't speak with my boss the same way I speak to my friends. I am different 'in session' than I am 'out of session'. We do have to change roles in order to be effective. But, when we are lost in the fantasy of 'being' someone else and not acknowledging our true selves, then we are living a lie.

While we may temporarily feel confident by the mask we wear... or even victorious that we can stuff down so much and only present what we perceive others want to see... eventually the mask will wear on you. Some have dubbed it "The Impostor Syndrome". The accolades, well wishes and positive things that come from playing your role never sink in past the layers of the mask. Therefore, you never feel good about you... because you are not being you.

Today while you are enjoying the snickers and laughing at some costumes, examine the masks you wear. Are you being authentic to your true self? Do you accept the things that make you you, or do you hide them away for superficial reasons? When you look in the mirror at your unmasked face, do you like what you see?

I'm gonna let it shine.

It's difficult to celebrate when there is so much grief in the world. Fires, tropical storms, hurricanes, wars.... Loss of houses, loss of things, loss of life. Grief is everywhere. I feel overwhelmed with emotion when I imagine how many mothers, fathers, spouses, brothers, sisters and friends are mourning the loss of someone they love. It wasn't that long ago that I was staying in a beach house with friends for our college fall break. It's painful when things hit close to home.

Now that we have our daily dose of heart break I think I will crawl back under the covers. The last thing I want is to go to work and hear about others' issues now. I think I'll go back to sleep. It's silent there, it's dark there, it's safe there, it's easier than facing the world.

But, we are called to move on and be beacon for those that are suffering.

You are the light of the world.

A city on a hill cannot be hidden.

Neither do people light a lamp

and put it under a bowl.

Instead they put it on its stand,

and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way,

Let your light shine before men,

that they may see your good deeds

and praise your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

There are many different interpretations of this message. Today, it is reminding me that the horrible events of the world do not have the power to blow out my candle of hope unless I allow it. We can not allow worldly events to dim our faith that God is good. Our light reminds us and others that a higher power is in control, even though the world may seem in chaos.

Celebration does not mean there has to be a party with balloons and loud displays of excitement. It can also be the silent, loving listener that stands beside the mourning, helping their light to shine when they are too weak to keep it lit alone.

Don't get back under the covers today. Face the world and let your light shine.

Bring out the good china!

Today is my wedding anniversary! It's so hard to believe that it has already been two years since Shane and I were married. It seems like yesterday when he got down on his knee and asked me to marry him... and then I ran around the house screaming without even saying yes! Tonight there will be a celebration!
When someone we love is engaged, pregnant, starting a new job or moving into a new home, we all become astute advisers ready to voice our opinions on what to do and how to do it right! When I was engaged I heard lots of advice: "You need to be engaged for a year to enjoy it", "A year is too long, make it shorter". And so forth, and so forth, down to every detail of the wedding to the gender roles in a marriage.
There was one piece of advice that I heard over and over again, at every shower and party I attended: "Use your good china! Bring it out for every celebration! Be sure to celebrate the little things!" I can't tell you why these words stuck with me like they did. Perhaps it was the amount of times I heard it. Or maybe it was the fact that the majority of these ladies were older than me by far. I couldn't help to note that some were already widowed for years. They knew the phases of love far better than I could, having not even taking my vows yet. They weren't telling me to do anything but to use my good china to celebrate! I can't help to think there was something else to these words of advice that went unsaid. Surely there was an undertone of "life is short".
Is eating off your good china every once in a while the key to a happy marriage? Maybe not, but it sure helps! Life is sweeter when we celebrate. Big or small, celebrate and give thanks for the good things in your life!
This week focus on what you can celebrate. Is is it a work project that is finally completed? A milestone in recovering from a bad habit? A bank error in your favor (even if it is 25 cents!)? Your dog's third birthday? The first sounds you have heard from your baby? A par on a tough golf course? Or that the fires are starting to be contained in California? Whatever you are excited about - celebrate it! Don't let the happy times pass by without acknowledgement! I don't have a clue what we are having for dinner tonight... maybe even Chinese take out! But, I can guarantee you it will be on the fine china!

"Celebrate we will,

For life is short

but sweet for certain."

Dave Mathews

The good old days...

"This world is going too fast.

Improvements, politics, reform, religion - all fly!

Railroads, steamers, packets, race against

time and beat it hollow.....

Oh, for the good old days of heavy post coaches and

speed at the rate of six miles an hour!"

Philip Hone, 1844

An Empire of Wealth

Shane shared with me this excerpt from his recent history read. Philip Hone was born in 1781 and was having a difficult time adjusting to the technological advances of the 1800's - trains were then going a whopping 20 miles an hour! Many still feared you may spontaneously combust if a human went much faster than that. Wow. Now Shane sits track side watching cars race at 200mph. The world sure is a faster place...

According to An Empire of Wealth, the quote above was the first recorded use of the phrase "the good old days". For hundreds of years, we have all been reminiscing a simpler, more comfortable time. With each major change, generation after generation embraces the fear that all that once was pure and simple will now be convoluted and unholy. We all say the new changes aren't necessary and are frivolous. And then we start incorporating the change in our life... and suddenly, without warning.... the thing that was once deemed unnecessary is not only a regular staple in our day to day living... but, we can not even fathom a world without such a necessary tool. And the cycle of change continues...

The phrase "the good old days" seems to be focused on fear... and maybe even a dash of resentment for the current pace of time. The truth is that some things in the world do function at a necessary fast pace. I am sure the business man on Wall Street would have little patience for my slow Southern drawl and need to use many adjectives to describe my excitement for the day.

The other part of that truth, however, is that the natural world still functions on a slow, even, perfectly planned pace. A baby still has nine months in the womb for optimal development. A seed still does not grow and bloom over night. The high tides at the beach last as long as necessary to complete it's mission. Nature does not pay much attention to the fast pace world, it only focuses on perfectly fulfilling it's individual calling.

And so it is with us...

Live the good days today! Don't blame your disappointments or lack of satisfaction on the growing number of changes in the world. Instead focus on your calling, your pure and simple nature - on the things that never change. "The good old days" are not lost to us unless we close our eyes to it.

Change with time.

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to men,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil?

I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecc. 3 1-11

Have you ever marveled in the perfect nature of God's timing? I have literally been in awe of how all events must have played out perfectly in the Divine plan for an event, perhaps seeming small, to occur and have such a grand impact on someone's life. Everything has to be in perfect order and occur at the exact moment for God to intervene and touch your life. Reflect on those perfect timing moments some today and give thanks for them.

Have you ever thought God's watch battery died and He lost time all together? He forgot you? Or clearly he was mistaken for taking someone too soon or allowing an issue to linger too long? I have marveled and grieved God's timing.

But, it's just that - God's timing. And, thank goodness, not my own. I may try to grab the watch from him and take control, but He silently reminds me that His timing is perfect and meant for the greater good -- or to make all things beautiful.

Change is a part of life. Every change has a perfect timing. If you are distressed and completely unsure of a decision, let it rest. It may not be the time. God will send you peace and a clear direction when it is time to start that plan. Don't loose faith and begin to doubt. Keep a steady, faithful heart and remember that there is a time for everything.