Chats with therapists and boat poses.

"I just don't know what to do!"
I was talking with a colleague about a dilemma I was facing.
"You said that already." He looked at me with a smile.
"But, I don't know.. it's hard to explain. It's just that I don't know which way to go."
I looked at him for answers.
Nothing... he was still staring and smiling.
Working with therapists can provide you with cheap therapy, but can also be frustrating when they refuse to give advice!
"I swear if you ask me what I think I should do I am going to go nuts!" (did I mention I can throw temper tantrums?)
"What's so urgent? If you don't know, it's not time to know." He explained warmly.
Clearly he wasn't getting it, I thought, then he would understand the urgency.
"I just don't want to make the wrong the decision! I just don't want to screw up!" (I may have been whining at this point.)
"So what if you screw up? Who cares if you make a mistake? Don't let fear of failing be the cause of such distress. We all screw up.. get over it." With a pat on the back, he walked out of my office.

SO WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE?

I was aghast. I rolled my eyes. I was dumbfounded.

I realized he was right.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, or make the perfect decisions. The truth is that it's impossible. None of us are perfect. We can strive to be the best we know how to be, but the extra stress and worry are what we add. We don't need that extra baggage, it only clouds the brain.. and then we can't see clearly. The more we worry, the more clouds in our brain and the less likely chance we can see the right path.

The other day in yoga class, I was in boat pose. It's when you balance on your tail bone with your legs and arms extended. You look like a boat and your abs get a killer workout. My stomach was shaking, I was holding my breath, counting the seconds, looking at my instructor like I was going to chop her head off if she didn't announce for us to release. But, she held it... and held it... "I can't take it anymore!" ( I was whining in my head this time!)
"When you relax into it, it will be less challenging. The more you fight it and try to control it, the harder it will be. Once you start breathing and allow your body to relax into the pose, the pressure will lessen." she advised.

I tried it. I breathed, relaxed my body and my mind. My stomach was still shaking, but, there was less pain, less urgency, less soreness.

Whatever is pressing on you today, relax into it. Give up the struggle. Put down your guard and step out of the boxing ring. Breathe into it and experience the frustration lessen. If you don't know the answer, now is not the time to make it. If you must make a decision today, then go with your instinct and allow yourself the freedom to make a mistake.