Life is to be lived, not filled.

Tool #3: Pour tea to drink it, not to just fill a cup.



There is an old Chinese parable. I regret I am not able to name the author or quote it specifically. Here is my best re-interpretation of it:


A young man is excited about meeting and talking with a wise elder. When the young man arrives in his elder's office, the man asks him if he would like a cup of tea. The young man was delighted by his kindness and eagerly accepted. The elder began to fill the cup with hot tea. Watching the tea reach the brim, the young man smiled. The elder smiled back, but continued to pour the tea. Now the younger man became nervous as he watched the tea spill over the cup and on to the saucer. Still, the elder did not stop pouring. When the young man asked what he was doing, the elder responded, "Sometimes filling things up too much makes us loose the goodness of the gesture."

Too much of anything is just that.. too much. I love chocolate... too much and I'm sick. I love riding rides, but, this summer I took my brother to Carowinds.. and after too many I felt dizzy. I have a friend who recently decided to take some time away from teaching. She said to me, "I like french fries, alcohol and teaching. If I have to much of any of these it's not good for me." She knew not to over fill her cup, too.


I've spoken with lots of people, (and experienced this myself) who in hindsight believe they just started busying their lives to avoid something. To avoid grief, avoid facing a pain, avoid fear, or even avoid the people in their life. Funny thing about those issues we avoid, they slam into you hard eventually. If you are avoiding something, or going through a personal grief, now is not the time to have your cup overflow. Make an effort to loosen up on things and allow yourself to feel.

For today, allow yourself to be able to accept the moment that you are in, without having to fill it with a worry, planning for something, or the desire to change. Acknowledge that what is present is not only good enough for you, but perfectly designed for you to meet your higher calling. Then just relax and know that you don't have to have all the answers and you don't have to be in control. Remember your cup can only hold so much. When you start to pour something in your life, ask yourself if you are going to enjoy your drink.. or are you just trying to fill an empty cup?