Mobster Job Evaluations

Yesterday was judgement day!
No, I'm not typing from heaven.... not that judgment day.
The day when you have the ..... (imagine the the JAWS theme music playing).... work performance evaluations!!!

I entered the small office of my boss and friend. Yesterday she did not have her friend hat on, she was 100% boss. Her evaluations she held in her lap would determine if I received a raise and how much. I mean let's be honest, we're talking about dimes and nickels, not significant amounts of money. But, that didn't change the fact that my imagination was envisioning a scene from The Sopranos. The mobster (aka my boss) was smoking a cigar (sitting down a diet coke) and looking me over trying to decided if I needed to sleep with the fishes (get a quarter raise or not).

"How was your first year with us?" she asked
"Great." I said, willing her to skip the small talk and get down to the nitty gritty.

I was rated on three levels for each expectation: 1. Not met 2. Met 3. Exceeded.

My mobster's voice began her talk. She expressed very positive words and smiled frequently. She told me that I was doing an "awesome" job. She said that I was very knowledgeable about clinical issues and a joy to work with . She offered some constructive criticism, but overall sang my praises.

She opened the evaluations. I looked down the grid. The checks... they were in the middle. Almost all of them were checked under "Met".

WHAT???? My inner temper tantrum began as I remained poised in her presence.
"How dare her not to check me as exceeded in all of these categories!!"

Had the mobster leered me in with her smile and warm wishes only to throw me over the boat, leaving me to die, for a surprise twist ending?

Wow... I've been watching The Sopranos way too much.

In the end I challenged her some, but did not receive much change. The reality is that I could grow in a lot of areas. But, I still disagreed on her rating scale.

I was a little put out as I drove home.

"Why do you care about that?" A friend asked as I spilled my frustrations. "It's not like she said anything bad. Plus, you know you do an awesome job. Why not be content with that?"

She was right. Why am I so quick to have hurt feelings when others don't see me as "exceeding", going "above and beyond" or "top of the charts"? An A rating is not enough, I want an A+.

This negativity and frustration loudly speaks one warning to my soul: Don't be more concerned with matters of the ego. Be quick to erase praises that only stroke you as a person. Instead, focus your attention daily on whether or not you feel at peace with doing the best in the job God called you to do. Let the idea of being perfect in others' eyes sleep with fishes and start focusing your energy on pleasing the one true evaluator of our time here.

God is not unjust;

he will not forget your work

and the love you have shown him

as you have helped his people and

continue to help them.

We want each of you to show this same

diligence to the very end,

in order to make your hope sure.

We do not want you to become lazy,

but to imitate those who through

faith and patience inherit what has been

promised.

Hebrews 6: 10-12

Practice makes perfect.

Every day when I leave the YMCA. .....

Let me re-phrase.... When I actually make it to the Y to work out (that's better) I always grab a small crumpled piece of colorful paper the Y employees leave by the exit. When you unfold the paper and smooth out the wrinkles there is a typed message. Monday's message was this:

"Happiness is a thing to be practiced,

like the violin."

John Lubbock

It's that time of year when we are all asking our loved ones and friends, "What do you want for Christmas?". I have heard more than one person say, "For everyone to be happy.". What a wonderful, and just about impossible, gift to have.... everyone happy.

We often make the mistake of looking at happiness as a goal, a treasure to obtain, or the prize at the end of a very grueling race. In short, we think that happiness will be given to us, in it's entirety, all at once. If we work hard enough, grieve long enough, endure quite enough... then enough happiness will arrive at our doorstep along with the Amazon boxes we ordered for Christmas presents.

News Flash:

Happiness will not be under the Christmas tree this year.

The elves do not have the tools to put together your happiness.

I heard on the Oprah show, a lady talking about her recent gastric bypass surgery. She explained that after the surgery she felt this strange, almost uncomfortable, sensation after she ate. She didn't know what the feeling was, so she kept eating or ignored the feeling all together. Finally someone shared with her, "That feeling is when you are full and have had enough to eat."

This lady had her "light bulb moment" when she realized the strange sensation she was feeling was in fact sending her a message that she was full.

That's how it is with happiness. If we don't practice being happy, we won't know what the feeling is and when we do experience that sensation it could be ignored out of ignorance to the feeling.

Fact: You will experience happiness. So, make yourself familiar with how this feeling effects you and welcome it to your life.

Do something today that you think will make you smile, laugh or feel good.... even for a moment. Call a friend or loved one you haven't talked to in a while, tell a joke, enjoy a bowl of ice cream, watch a comedy. Make the choice to practice feeling happy... don't wait for it to be under the tree or you'll never get your wish. Like everything, practice makes perfect.

Life through a dog's eyes...

Most of you have met Wyatt. In case you haven't had the pleasure.... meet our son!

Wyatt is a funny dog, with his very own unique personality. This morning was the first time he has been on a walk since last Monday or Tuesday. Noticing the leash in my hand, Wyatt greeted me with a wagging tail and perked up ears.

I put his leash on and BOOM!! Away we went on our jog/walk. The neighbors often joke, "Who's walking who?" as we run by.

This jolt of excitement and unconditional regard is certainly the reason why people say they are "dog people" and may have a dislike for cats. Our two cats are just now finished pouting that we left town for a few days and have graced us with their presence on the couch.

If Wyatt could talk, I have a feeling he would say, "WALK!! Let's go on a walk!! YAY!". If Wyatt didn't greet me with excitement when I held a leash I would pick him up and take him straight to the vet.

Wyatt eats the same thing for breakfast and dinner, every day for all 3 years of his life. He occasionally gets the same treat he has always received when he sits. Wyatt doesn't pout and say, "Oh now you want to walk, thanks for leaving me all alone." Instead, he jumps at the chance for companionship.

I don't know about you, but I would have a difficult time eating the same thing day in and day out. Enduring the same schedule every day would be a bore.

Maybe we should live our lives a little bit more like Wyatt. Thankful for food, not complaining about it's uniqueness. Excited about the walk and not putting our tail between our legs because of bad weather. Ready to accept goodness or a kind act without questioning pretenses and motives. Just happy to be alive and enjoying all the good things God gave us. Not wishing for more. Try living like man's best friend today!

Step by Step

Everything in my life is full right now.
My stomach is stuffed from pecan pie.
My car is still loaded from the trip.
My sinuses are full.
My to do list is growing.
I think there was even a full moon over the weekend.

"My plate is full", as they say.
"Tis the season" as others say.
"When it rains, it pours." ... you get the picture.

Before we left Shane's family, we visited his grandmother again in the hospital. She'll be discharged Tuesday. The major surgery she endured comes with restrictions she must strictly abide by in order to heal properly. Not being able to bend over the waist is one of the limitations.

When I was straightening up her house and getting ready to leave, I noticed how much bending over I did. There were stairs she could not go up. Even using the restroom or bathing would be a chore for her.

"How are you going to do it all?" I asked her, not trying to hide my nerves about the difficultly of the healing process ahead. "How will you not bend over? Who will help you? Will someone be able to rearrange the house so that you are able to reach things?"

I was working myself into a small panic imagining how her life may be rearranged.

"One step at time" she said with a soft smile, "and I'll have to learn to let some things go, won't I?"

She looked completely at ease. Without fear and worry. Plus, she had the right attitude for the job.

As your life begins filling up this season, remember the words from this wise woman. Whether it's getting your Christmas shopping done, fighting depression, spring cleaning or healing from surgery. Remember, one step at a time and learn to let some things go. You'll enjoy this time more than ever and recover smoothly!

To grandmother's house we go...

Every year Shane and I travel to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family. The drive is roughly 8 hours from our hometown. One year it was close to 13 hours because of traffic. So, we never quite now what we are getting into.

This year we had to drive two cars down because we are leaving one at our destination. I knew it had to be done, but I was less than thrilled. Duty calls.

Before the trip Shane over heard me talking to my mom... "The drive is going to be miserable." (really drawing out the miserable part).

Later Shane confronted me stating, "It's not going to be miserable."

"Yes it is." I said stubbornly, "Eight hours in the car by myself and in traffic. It's going to be miserable. But, we have to do it!"

He ended it at that, but I could tell he was put off by pessimistic attitude.

So, we woke up Thanksgiving morning at 4:30am and took off. Thirty minutes later it was pouring down rain. POURING down rain... and Shane discovered the wind shield wipers didn't work on his vehicle. We pulled over at the gas station. Closed.

We are wet and cold running from one car to the other. We went to Walmart, ran through the rain and pick up some Rain X for his windows (only after a debate in the store about if it would actually work).

I complained that there was no Starbucks.
I complained that one gas station was closed.
I complained that the other gas station's credit card machine was down.
I complained about the high fees from ATM's.
I complained about the rain.
I complained about the cold.
I complained about being hungry.
I complained about the zits on my face.
I COMPLAINED ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Shane was less than Thankful that I had vocal cords at that moment.

That might have been the reason he left the gas station, claiming he thought I was behind him, when really I was still in the parking lot stewing in my sea of complaints. Oh and did that give me a chance to exaggerate everything! "YOU LEFT ME!!" I exclaimed with a whiny, annoying voice.

Shane deserves a medal.

To be honest, the rest of the drive was fine. More than fine, actually enjoyable. I listened to a book on tape that was very funny. I called my family and friends and expressed how thankful I was that they were each in my life. Shane and I made faces at each other through the windows, laughing at how quickly we can be back in 3rd grade. We made it to our destination much quicker than I thought and without traffic.

Our destination was the hospital where Shane's grandmother is over Thanksgiving this year. She'll be out soon, but the tears in her eyes and her very sad smile show her disappointment that she is not hosting her usual big feast.

"How was your drive?" she asked

Shane eyed me. "It was just fine" I said meaning it.

Suddenly everything changes from the perspective of the hospital.

I hope your Thanksgiving day was a happy one. Filled with love, happy memories and relaxation. Ours was ... and still is. I am thankful that my husband has patience. I am also thankful for the lesson I learned.

Don't judge an experience before it happens. Be careful to label something as going to be "miserable" or a terrible thing to do. If you are going to label it as something, convince yourself that it's going to be pleasant.

You will always get what you are looking for when you have already made up your mind about how it is going to be.

Moving honey or sucking blood?

November 19th, 2006:

"I am so stressed out about Christmas."

That was an excerpt from my journal last year. Thirty six days before Christmas and I was writing unevenly and quickly about how frustrated I was over what should be a very peaceful time. Through tears, I described how hard it was to make everyone happy. I went so far, that I even began a tirade about having nothing that looked good on me to wear to a Christmas party.

November 19th. It wasn't even Thanksgiving yet and I was all worked up over Christmas. The thing is that I only remember positive things from last year. I wonder what on Earth could have been so pressing that I actually allowed the stress to interrupt what should be a fun beginning to my favorite season.

So, looking back I should be reflecting on how much I have grown and matured, right? Hmm... I think it was just a few hours ago that I snapped at Shane and said I really needed a wish list ASAP. And if I am being really honest, I did pout in the closet this weekend about my perceived lack of an exciting wardrobe that flatters my ghostly pale skin.

What's wrong with me? Why do I stress over superficial things year after year during the season that defines love and sacrifice?

"It's not how busy you are,

but why you are busy.

The bee is praised;

the mosquito is swatted."
Marie O'Connor

This year I am going to try to be the bee and not the mosquito. I would much rather spread the sweet nectar of the holiday than suck the life out of time with family and celebrating Jesus' birth. Will you join me? Life is sweeter when you stop sucking.

Beating the clock.

"You have a lot of time!"
I looked up at my friend and co-worker wondering if there was someone else in the room she could possibly be making this statement too.
I stared at her with a blank look.
"To blog, I mean. You must have a lot of time to sit down and write those."
"Oh, I guess I do." I replied lightly.

I had to think about that for a minute. Time is something I can never get enough of. When I go to bed each night I could list several things that I didn't have time to do that day. My "to do" list is always left with more to do than accomplished.

Time is the excuse I gave myself when I wanted to write ,but wasn't yet. Now that I am writing, my friend is exactly right, I do have a lot of time. Time I never knew was there before. I wake up some mornings before the alarm because I am excited about an idea to post. I stay up late other nights reading inspirational thoughts that might apply to my life. I spent 2 hours last Friday night updating the blog - Adding You Tube video options at the bottom of the page, search engines so that you may find other interesting blogs and even an Amazon store to begin some Christmas shopping. I loved doing it! Just a few months ago I thought I would never have time to do this.

Time is an interesting concept. Some of us are so rigid on time that we allow the clock, not our bodies, to tell us when we are hungry or sleepy. We get bogged down in our everyday lives that we forget we can be flexible and change things up. We have to reclaim control over our lives and ditch the clock!!

OK, let's be realistic. My watch will be glued to my left hand. I have to end sessions on time, I have to be at work on time, I have to rely on time. But, not letting time control us is the key. When you are following your spirit, the time spent doing a task is fun and enjoyable. You don't count the seconds for it to end... you never want it to end.

If there is something that you want to do today or this week, but, you don't think you have enough time.. challenge yourself and experiment with time. Whether it's to visit a friend, start a new hobby, clean out a junk drawer, re paint the den, or learn to play the piano. Make a commitment to not allow time to stand in your way of doing something your spirit is calling you to do. You'll be surprised how much time is on your side!

Logan, the Sky Angel Cowboy!

Wow. This little boy is incredible. After putting a calf down, this boy called the radio station and delivered a very powerful message. It brings me to tears. I don't think anyone could have said it better than this honest, sweet and wise beyond his years boy. Enjoy.

Let it Rip!

To keep up my license, I have to attend Continuing Education classes regularly. A few months ago I was so excited to attend a training entitled "Psychic Events in the Lives of Clients and Clinicians". I was intrigued immediately. A seminar about psychic events would surely hold my attention longer than, "How to Work with Difficult People" or "How to Help your Client Understand Her Feelings". I was stoked!

When I walked into the training I immediately felt the familiar distance in age with the other participants. Other than examples from paranormal psychology, this lecture was spiritually based. The speaker noted that most who are interested in this subject are women in their mid forties and above. I don't quite understand the logic behind that, but having been referred to as an "old soul" in the past, I felt at ease with the description.

I was soaking up every bit of this lecture. I was inspired! I was learning! I was on the corner of my seat in the first row not missing a beat in the over crowded classroom. After our lunch break, the presenter informed us that she was going to lead us in a meditation before moving forward with the rest of the material.

We were asked to stand. This must have been a popular training, because I could barely move my arms without bumping into my neighbors. I listened intently and followed every move instructed by the leader. Eyes closed, deep breathing, erasing the mind.

"Imagine space all around you. Ahead of you, behind you, below you and above you there is an infinite amount of space." The speaker's hypnotic voice continued, "There is only you in this room. You are relaxed."

I was really into this meditation, feeling peaceful and energized all at the same time.

"Every muscle is loose and you are free of expectations, judgements and...."

At that very moment, my relaxed stomach muscles decided to release the gasses stored up from lunch in a very loud and intrusive way.

How can I make this more clearer?

In a room with my colleagues, whom I would prefer to respect me, I tainted the air, disturbed the silence and took them out of their peaceful trance with a loud flatulence.

To put it bluntly, I farted.

Here people were in serenity, imagining their perfect place, and there I go stinking up the whole fairy tale land.

There was no cat to blame, not even a child I could look to and snicker. I would have just assumed to be striped naked and asked to karaoke "The Electric Slide" in front of these intelligent people than to loudly and disrespectfully declare my lunch right there in the middle of the seminar!!!!!

I was mortified, I was disgusted, I was so afraid to open my eyes!!

There were some giggles, but most attempted to be polite. My face was hot, my body frozen and the meditation was over. I had to face the stares.

And there she was, my neighbor, a sweet Italian lady in her late sixties. She was looking at me and giggling, stifling her laugh so that her shoulders shook. She patted me on the back with soft, dancing eyes. "You really let it rip!" I swear she had pride in her tone. She was not ridiculing, she was laughing with me. I began to chuckle. She called her daughter over. "Honey, did you hear her? This one was really feeling it!" At this point there were tears in the ladies eyes from laughter.

I couldn't help it, I began laughing uncontrollably. The more they laughed, I laughed. A moment ago I was ready to wish myself to Mars or leave the room in tears, one. Now I was laughing with my new found friends.

Later in the day we broke into small groups and this mother and daughter couple invited me to join. We had afternoon tea together on a break and shared stories about our families, traditions and cultures. I enjoyed these lighthearted women. I liked listening to them laugh and interact. At the end of the day we exchanged business cards and well wishes. The eldest whispered to me, "Honey, I am so happy you are able to laugh at yourself... it's the most important thing in life."

And they were gone. Out of my life. I am so thankful for these woman. They threw me an inter tube when I was sinking in a sea of embarrassment. They didn't ignore my faux-pas with judging eyes that said, "We know you did that awful thing, but we won't think to speak of it". Rather, they laughed and embraced my humanness. I went from feeling like and outcast to beaming with pride in my experience from the day.

Did you know that a healthy person farts on average 16 times a day? Mostly in his/her sleep. I looked it up before I began this post, only to reassure myself that it wasn't just me.

We are all only human. Embrace the fact that you are nothing more or less. When we are able to laugh at our flaws, we are truly living life to the fullest. Embrace others' imperfections with love. If we live in shame of those imperfections that define us as humans then we are unnaturally placing judgement on what our Higher Power deemed necessary for us.

Maybe that's a little deep for a blog about farting in a seminar.

To put it lightly, laugh at yourself and let it rip!

Chats with therapists and boat poses.

"I just don't know what to do!"
I was talking with a colleague about a dilemma I was facing.
"You said that already." He looked at me with a smile.
"But, I don't know.. it's hard to explain. It's just that I don't know which way to go."
I looked at him for answers.
Nothing... he was still staring and smiling.
Working with therapists can provide you with cheap therapy, but can also be frustrating when they refuse to give advice!
"I swear if you ask me what I think I should do I am going to go nuts!" (did I mention I can throw temper tantrums?)
"What's so urgent? If you don't know, it's not time to know." He explained warmly.
Clearly he wasn't getting it, I thought, then he would understand the urgency.
"I just don't want to make the wrong the decision! I just don't want to screw up!" (I may have been whining at this point.)
"So what if you screw up? Who cares if you make a mistake? Don't let fear of failing be the cause of such distress. We all screw up.. get over it." With a pat on the back, he walked out of my office.

SO WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE?

I was aghast. I rolled my eyes. I was dumbfounded.

I realized he was right.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, or make the perfect decisions. The truth is that it's impossible. None of us are perfect. We can strive to be the best we know how to be, but the extra stress and worry are what we add. We don't need that extra baggage, it only clouds the brain.. and then we can't see clearly. The more we worry, the more clouds in our brain and the less likely chance we can see the right path.

The other day in yoga class, I was in boat pose. It's when you balance on your tail bone with your legs and arms extended. You look like a boat and your abs get a killer workout. My stomach was shaking, I was holding my breath, counting the seconds, looking at my instructor like I was going to chop her head off if she didn't announce for us to release. But, she held it... and held it... "I can't take it anymore!" ( I was whining in my head this time!)
"When you relax into it, it will be less challenging. The more you fight it and try to control it, the harder it will be. Once you start breathing and allow your body to relax into the pose, the pressure will lessen." she advised.

I tried it. I breathed, relaxed my body and my mind. My stomach was still shaking, but, there was less pain, less urgency, less soreness.

Whatever is pressing on you today, relax into it. Give up the struggle. Put down your guard and step out of the boxing ring. Breathe into it and experience the frustration lessen. If you don't know the answer, now is not the time to make it. If you must make a decision today, then go with your instinct and allow yourself the freedom to make a mistake.

When Opporunity Knocks..

My mom came in town this weekend and we enjoyed some 'girl time'. Two of our favorites: shopping and watching movies. Have you seen Evan Almighty? It's not an Oscar winner, but, I enjoyed some of it's messages. One of my favorite parts can be seen on the clip posted yesterday. Morgan Freeman, the actor playing 'God', explains to the wife of "New York's Noah" that the flood was not done out of anger, rather for an opportunity to show love. He goes on to describe that God answers our prayers through providing us opportunities.
I have been stuck on this message.
God provides us opportunities...
Why doesn't He just give us exactly what we prayed for, spelled out in black and white? Isn't that what a loving 'father' would do?
When I am stuck with a tough decision, or become tired of bearing a pain in my life, I want to throw a temper tantrum like a two year old does when mom or dad won't by the extra lollipop in the grocery store. Ok, let's be honest: I do throw a full fledged temper tantrum. I stomp, grunt, whine, and declare the unfairness of the situation. I stick my tongue out, cross my arms and declare silent treatment with God. The more I grow, not in age, but, spiritually, I have learned to cut these silent treatments shorter and shorter.
When our eyes are set only for what we are looking for, then we miss what our higher power may be sending us. If you are lonely, and pray for relief from that terrible feeling, God may have sent you the opportunity to find a new friend. Maybe it comes in the form of a neighbor stopping by to say 'hi', or an unexpected invitation to a social gathering. But, if our eyes are closed, we may miss the answer to our prayers. What's the point of praying if we are not going to receive the answers?
We do need to give things to God. We do need to believe that our higher power will arrange our lives to perfectly meet our needs. But, that does not mean that we are lazy participants in this relationship. Keep your eyes open for opportunities that God is allowing to change your life. Be open to receiving these messages and gifts. Understand that your prayers are not going to be answered in your way, but in an all knowing, magnificent way. If things are tough right now, remember God is not shunning you, rather he is loving you during your time of need. Keep faith that God will answer your prayers, and then keep your soul open for the opportunity to accept the gift. When opportunities knock , open the door and allow them to come in.

I tell you the truth,

if you have faith as small as

a mustard seed,

you can say to this mountain,

'Move from here to there'

and it will move.

Nothing is impossible for you.

Matthew 17:20

Evan Almighty - The Meaning of the Flood

I love this clip!

Tigger or Eeyore?

Have you seen Pausch's Last Lecture video floating all around the web?
If you haven't heard about it... let me fill you in briefly.
Randy Pausch was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University who is currently dieing of pancreatic cancer. Before leaving the university, he delivered his "last lecture". He explains in this lecture that a professor is suppose to pretend as if this is the last lecture (s)he will ever give. He, however, is dieing... so, it essentially was his last chance to deliver the messages he deemed important. He focused his teaching points on how to live out your childhood dreams. It's very inspirational and moving. I suggest you check out the video link. The full video is about 1 hour long. The Oprah clip is really great too, and only 15 mins if you don't have a lot of time. For some reason I couldn't get the links to post, so search "Pausch's last lecture" at any site. Or go to www. oprah.com and search "Pausch's last lecture" for the abbreviated version. I found his lecture very courageous and inspiring. Check it out!
One of my favorite points of advice he focused on in his lecture was, "You have to decide early on if you are a Tigger or an Eeyore". I think I know what I am. I even think my parents might have called me Tigger a time or two growing up. I was bouncing all over the place. But, I know Mr. Pausch did not mean this in terms of energy. Rather, he meant it to mean that you have to focus early on if you are going love life or loathe life.
I thought I was going to blog about how you didn't have to be one or the other (Tigger or Eeyore) and that you could comfortably find your spot somewhere in the middle. Now, as I am typing I have changed my mind. You do have to decide. You have to decide if you are going to live life to the fullest, or mope around and miss the action. You have to know if you are going to view the world through a lens of hope and joy, or if your lens magnifies the unjust and unfair. Are you going to spring at the chance to help others, spend time with friends and put a smile on someones face? Or are you going to stay in one spot and complain when others come to you?
Are you words going to be uplifting or bring others down?
When I heard Mr. Pausch speak, it moved me to know this man will be dead in a matter of months. Regardless of this fact, he reiterated, "I'm going to have fun and enjoy this time".
You are going to die.
I am going to die.
We are all going to die.
Now that we have the uncontrollable, inevitable truth out of the way... it's time to define your journey here.
Is your spirit already dead while your lifeless body roams this Earth?
Or are you going to supercharge your goals, life purpose, change your glasses and see through the positive lense?
The time here in human form is a gift.. not an accident. You are a gem with a specific purpose. Begin to love the time you have here and have fun!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers

Is Tiggers are wonderful things

Their tops are made of rubber

The bottoms are made out of springs

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy

Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun

But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers

Is I'm the only one!

Tigger's favorite Song

Winnie the Pooh

Free as a bird.

I really like this cartoon a friend sent me. It reminds me of watching birds. They always seem to be having fun, soaring without a care in the world. Life can be simple for us, too,if we keep this attitude. How can God help us, like he does the birds, if we are too afraid to hand over the reigns? Let go of one thing you are worried about today and have faith that your higher power will work out all the kinks. You'll be amazed at how much more peaceful you will feel and how quickly the problem will work itself out. Imagine for a moment that you are free as bird... give yourself a break and let God take over.

Talk is cheap..

One of my best friends called me one day to 'check in'. We talked about all our families and friends, the weather, our weekend plans and so forth.
"So, how are things with you?"
She knew what I meant. When you know someone well you don't always have to say the words exactly to know how what your friend is asking.
"No luck getting pregnant", she answered. "They are going to do some more tests this week."
I could hear the sorrow in her voice.
"Well, I'll be praying for you this week."

My friend was hurting. She wanted so badly to get pregnant and after over a year of trying everything she knew to do, her prayers were still not answered. I grieved for her. Not only because I loved her and didn't want her to hurt, but that I knew she would be an awesome mother. I ended just about every conversation we had by telling her that I would pray that she and her husband would become pregnant.

One day my mom inquired about this friend. "How is she doing?" my mom asked.
"She's doing good... but, could still use your prayers".
And then it hit me like a load of bricks were dropped from the heavens square onto my heart.

I had yet to say a single prayer for my friend.

One of my oldest, dearest friends. The one who chipped her teeth sliding down my stairs in second grade. The friend who jokingly added my last name to hers when we spent a whole summer together. The friend who was always there for me through thick and thin. The friend who still calls on my brother's birthday 14 years after his death. I had failed her. Failed myself. Failed our friendship.

I prayed immediately. I prayed daily. Not the same prayer over and over, because I know God hears me the first time. I prayed the doctors knew the best treatment, I reminded God what good parents they would make, I prayed her husband would have patience and that her heart would be filled with peace.

Two months later I received the phone call that she was expecting!

Did I make her pregnant? No - genetically impossible and last I checked I don't have super powers (but, I'll check again later today!).
I do believe in the power of prayer. My friend had a lot of people praying for her.

Why did I not follow through with what I said? Selfishness, laziness, fill in the blank. I love her dearly, but was unintentionally focusing my prayer life on me and my needs. I was wrong in assuming that I had to pray at the same time every day, in the same fashion.
We can pray anywhere, anyhow with anyone about anything. Eyes closed, eyes open. Formally or informally. The point is the action, not the structure of it. I have learned a lesson through all of this. First, when you say you are going to do something... do it. Right then. Right now. Two, talk is cheap.. but, prayer is powerful.

"Remember you will judged by your actions, not your intentions.

You may have a heart of gold -

but, so does a hard boiled egg."

Author unknown

Whatley: table for two

Concord has lots or restaurants! If you are in the mood for anything at all, we've got it. Ruby Tuesdays, Olive Garden, Crackle Barrel, Long Horn, Carrabas, Applebees, Red Lobster, and many more are on one strip leading the way to the Concord Mills..(a shoppers dream). The problem is that Shane and I get bored with the chain restaurants and try to make it a mission to find somewhere new and different, smaller and less commercialized. We like the experience of eating out just as much as the food.

This week I was thrilled to find out that a locally owned restaurant had just opened a few miles down the road. We made a date to go there Saturday night. As we drove up to the restaurant I "ooed" and "ahhed" at the unique look of the building. A fire was built and heaters were placed on a beautiful candle lit porch. The hostess greated us warmly and took our names. While we waited for the table, my taste buds began to dance with excitement as I watched other guest's entrees come out of the kitchen.

A team of wait staff dressed in all black presented the tables with beautiful displays of mouth watering food. The sauce was poured in fancy designs around the elegant square white plate. I quickly glanced at the menu to make sure we were in our price range. Whew... safe. Even the restrooms had a feel of significance. "This is my new favorite place!", I announced to Shane as the hostess walked us to the table. "You haven't even eaten the food yet" he jokingly reminded me.

After we ordered I stalked other people's plates of food. Eyeing every dish and planning the different meals I would get each time we came back. When our stufffed chicken and pork loin came to the table I could hardly wait to dig in. As it usually is when we eat, silence filled the table.

I'll cut to it.... the mash potatoes were cold and without flavor. The chicken was dry and stuffed with one leaf of spinach from what I could tell. I chewed slowly looking at my plate. I didn't want to express my disappointment and ruin the positive feel. I looked at Shane who was smiling. "How is it?"

"Not good" I admitted.

"Mine isn't either". And we both laughed.

Shane's pork loin was burnt, dry and also without flavor.

What a bummer! The presentation was so awesome, the building so inviting, the wait staff so friendly... how could the food be such a disappointment?

While presentation is important, it never matters unless the product has quality. I am sure you have visited a 'rough' looking place on the outside that quickly turns into your favorite restaurant. What sold it? The food of course.

Today focus on the quality of your work and time with others. Instead of running late to an appointment trying to fix your hair, go with unfixed hair and be centered at the meeting. Don't try to guess what to say to a friend in need, instead just listen and focus on the quality of hearing her words. If things go off schedule, remember to be flexible and think of the importance of your attitude, rather than the calendar. When hosting a dinner or small gathering your guests will leave reflecting your attitude from the night. If you are warm, honest and focused on their company, they will leave the same. But, if you fuss about the dust bunnies, the dirty dishes or the paint on the walls you don't agree with... they will depart with that attitude.

The end result in work and life has more to do with the quality of the person than his presentation. Don't try to dress up a poor meal, instead focus on improving the dish.

I love mornings like this. I went to bed early and thanks to the hour we gained I feel rested and alert when the rest of the world appears to still be sleeping. Tip toeing out of the bedroom and through the house I take a seat next to the window, ready to observe the world in it's peaceful, natural state. My goal is not to be heard or noticed.
Sadie, my normally energetic cat, props up on the hand made afghan, carelessly thrown on the couch. She starts going in circles, making her spot appropriate to lie in. When she is satisfied with her resting place, her body curls up in a ball, placing her head between her paws.
I hear a noise and turn to see my other cat, Daisy, scraping the ground in front of her food bowl. As if she is covering her food in the wild, Daisy scratches all around her food bowl. Amazing how they are conditioned to do these survival tricks having never spent a day in the wild. Our dog, Wyatt, sits on the porch, alert, but with every muscle still. No doubt staring at the squirrel that has entered his territory below.
The birds, the squirrels, even the breeze, all appear different, mysterious and exciting when I take the time to silently notice it. I know that the world will wake up soon. Alarms will go off, the cars will start, the TV's will turn on, the lawn mowers will begin and we will all assume that we 'own' this world.
What's that saying about assuming?
Don't make and ass out of you and me.
My goal as I begin a new week is to stop assuming that the world is mine. That my goals are all that is important. That my ways of living are the 'correct' or 'proper' ones. That I am in the only one in this world with an agenda.
Go about your business today... turn on the TV, cut your grass, do all the things you would normally do. Take a second to remember that you are merely a part of the world, not there to own it. Share this space we have been given and be patient with all the world's inhabitants. Embrace in the diversity of people and things and remember you are just one among them, not an authority over them.
Happy Sunday!

This too shall pass

I believe everyone should have a motto. A personal saying engraved in memory used to coach us through events in our lives. I say several throughout the day..... "One step at a time".... "You are doing the best you can". These words calm me down when my stress level starts to rise. I think our brain doesn't automatically know when to slow down... we have to tell it too.
"This too shall pass" is one of my personal favorites. I first began to use this saying when grief or hard times were in my life. Acknowledging that the pain could not last forever allowed me to renew faith and hope that good things were around the corner. It made the dark tunnel a little more bearable. It prevented pain to evolve into suffering.
In the cycle of life, pain is not the only thing that passes. We feel pain and grief because it slams into us and knocks us to our knees. It is a force that refuses to be ignored. The happy times, however, seem to elude us. It doesn't knock us down in the way pain does. In fact, we often have to embrace it ourselves before we can feel the full impact of the good things around us. Otherwise it is, and feels, at a distance.
I have never heard of a drought, storm or fire lasting forever. Have you? Thank goodness they pass.
Neither have I heard of a rainbow lasting forever.
This weekend think about the words, "This too shall pass" to acknowledge that the circumstances in your life will change. Tomorrow, today will be a memory.. Appreciate the good things, the gifts, the blessings in your life. Take time to notice them and celebrate their existence! Don't drive right past the rainbow... pull over and experience it for a moment.